Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bluetooth Pipe

Bluetooth microphone device that looks like a tobacco pipe.
  (+7)
(+7)
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against]

Why do we bother with home automation anyway? I say it's because for a few hundred dollars, we can make ourselves smoover than most (and almost as smoove as those with a few billion dollars). Some folks want to emulate Bill Gates and live in a smart castle. My tastes run more toward someone like Hugh Hefner. I want my house to respond like a well-trained thoroughbred when I'm entertaining the ladies.

I am a fan of X-10 and other home automation protocols. Many of them can handle voice commands if you have a microphone connected to the computer. You simply say, "Computer, dim the lights." and it runs the proper sequence. But making the voice recognition work is tricky. The NLP software is decent, but it requires a good mic with no background noise. Serious home automation enthusiasts will install in-wall or in-ceiling microphone system in each room and then route them to a central mixer before sending it to the computer. They may also run a bunch of noise pre-filtering software too.

I don't have the luxury of putting holes in my wall/pulling cable, so the next logical step is to have a wireless mic that I can take around with me. A simple bluetooth phone headset will interface with a PC, and the range is decent enough (10 meters). My only problem is that bluetooth headsets make you look silly. This is not conjecture, this is the awful truth. Why bother making your house swanky and then revealing your inner dork by slapping on a bluetooth mic?

Then It dawned on me, Hef always has a pipe. He's admitted that it is less for smoking and more to give him something to do with his hands. Pipes are great visual tools as well, excellent for driving a point home during a heated conversation. Now, I don't smoke a pipe, but I can certainly appreciate the asthetic. If it works for Hef, it just might work for me.

I want to take a bluetooth headset, and repackage the electronics into a pipe. That way, I can move jauntily through my home, pipe in hand, and if the mood is in need of adjustment I casually say "Let's get a little closer..." into my pipe. The lights dim, the blinds close, Al Green starts playing softly. "Are you feeling chilly darling? Let's turn up the heat..." The gas fireplace comes alive. Awwwww yeah. Pimp.

tourist, Nov 18 2005

Hulger extension http://www.hulger.com/
Hefner-esque bling [shinobi, Nov 21 2005]

[link]






       Whatever happened to good old fashioned smoke signals?
pathetic, Nov 18 2005
  

       There should really be a Smoke Singles idea. Like maybe a one puff cigarette or something.
theircompetitor, Nov 18 2005
  

       I'm not sure I want to be a pimp, but I certainly like using old form factors for new technology, and I'd go for a Meerschaum cell phone.
DrCurry, Nov 18 2005
  

       I hear you   

       I have a Pokia or now called Hulger (linked) extension for my mobile phone. I am all for mobile phones when I'm mobile, but when I'm at home I'm all about the oldschool. This is pretty hefner-esque too dont you think?
shinobi, Nov 21 2005
  

       Another idea (for those of us who don't like pipes) is pinning or clipping a bluetooth mic to your shirt with the mike pointing towards your mouth. (Hopefully, one day like the Starfleet communicator badge)
sonam, Feb 05 2009
  

       c'est pas une pipe
loonquawl, Mar 26 2009
  
      
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