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Bleeping slow-start lamp

The best you can hope for, really.
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There are some occasions during the hours of darkness when a visit to the bathroom becomes unavoidable. This is particualrly associated with the consumption of alcoholic beverages.

However, in order to reach said bathroom, it is necessary to make a short but potentially hazardous journey, frequently strewn with traps for an unwary and unprotected foot.

Some form of illumination is essential; but the shock to the nervous system resuting from turning on the main lights is often verging on painful.

What would be better would be if the light came on slowly, via a dimmer.

But modern CFLs are not by and large amenable to dimmers.

This glaring market gap is filled by the new BorgCo slow-start CFL.

Externally very similar to a standard CFL, the lamp has some extra electronics integrated into its base. When powered on, if the ambient light level is below a predertermined threshold, it checks its internal MSF-set clock to see if it's "night". If so, instead of springing into life, it bleeps quietly, and starts a slow (adjustable) ramp-up from nothing to an (adustable) maximum brightness, giving a chance for the user to complete their journey without physical injury, temporary blindness, or aggravating the banging headache that's just beginning to make its presence felt.

8th of 7, Feb 19 2012

Dimmable CFL http://www.homedepo...mable&storeId=10051
Been around for a while... [csea, Feb 20 2012]

Headlamps, Possibly Adaptable to Borg Glow_20in_20the_20D...20Breast_20Implants
[Grogster, Feb 20 2012]

[link]






       Might it not be simpler to buy a pair of sunglasses?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 19 2012
  

       Could you make the bleeping less piercing, please?
baconbrain, Feb 19 2012
  

       FWIW, closing your eyes before turning the lights on, then keeping them closed for a few seconds afterwards helps them to adjust, minimizing or even preventing entirely the blindness and associated discomfort.
ytk, Feb 19 2012
  

       //modern CFLs are not by and large amenable to dimmers.//   

       Dimmable CFLs have in fact been around for a few years. Probably to be overtaken by LED lamps fairly soon.
csea, Feb 20 2012
  

       old cheap cfls did this any time you turned them on, even more so when it was cold. I liked it. I also find you can get by with much lower wattage in all your lights than you have trained to purchase. 7 watt lights are great.
haywardt, Feb 20 2012
  

       What? Borg don't replace damaged bio parts as readily as they replace tech parts? Tsk, tsk!
Vernon, Feb 20 2012
  

       // a night light on ... with a nice deep green filter. //   

       Nightlights just aren't quite bright enough, and ast shadows that can conceal hazards ....   

       // make the bleeping less piercing //   

       Our R&D unit have determined that a very soft chiming sound is preferable to a beep, and the volume is adjustabloe right down to zero.   

       // Dimmable CFLs ... around for a few years //   

       Have you seen the price tag on those things ?
8th of 7, Feb 20 2012
  

       So, let me get this straight. The Great Hive Mind (a) has difficulties navigating in the dark (b) does not adapt readily to bright lights and (c) is concerned about the cost of lightbulbs.   

       Are you quite sure that you're suited to intergalactic travel and being a hegemonising smarm?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 20 2012
  

       We are referring to the percieved problem of one drone operating under difficult circumstances.   

       It's quite dark in the gaps between the stars ... oh, you're not a true spacefaring species yet, are you ?   

       And yes, we are concerned about the cost of lamps.   

       Oh, and yes, we did notice the crack about "smarm", so don't expect a Christmas card this year.
8th of 7, Feb 20 2012
  

       //we did notice the crack about "smarm"//   

       Mand this dyslexia!
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 20 2012
  

       Daliysex is not without its advantages ...
8th of 7, Feb 20 2012
  
      
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