h a l f b a k e r yGuitar Hero: 4'33"
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Finally, you too can pit your black powder knowhow against other pyros in this world class competition!
Requirements:
ATF LEUP
Hardhat and eye protection
Signed and notorized liability waiver
Up to date, legal last will and testament
Earplugs are optional.
Events:
Anvil
launching and acrobatics
Artillery Golf
1Liter, 2Liter and 3Liter Soda Popper dB drag race
Musket marksmanship contest
Small and large caliber cannon marksmanship
Freestyle competition (anything that blows, goes)
Homemade Rocketry
Events are scored on the following criteria:
10meter SPL measurement
Conflaguration (if applicable)
Accuracy
Originality
Aerobatic maneuvers (when applicable)
Smoke cloud symmetry
To be held in the Nevada desert, for obvious safety purposes. Powder is distributed at the games to insure that all competitors are equally matched. Manual fuse ignition only. Sorry, the beer tent is for spectators only.
Note to spectators: Ticketmaster has now added "Anvils and missles" to the list of things they are not responsible for flying into the crowds. Attendance is at your own risk. Please do not enter the playing field for any reason.
Sponsored by: Black Cat, Red Lantern, Hodgdon Powders, US BATF, and your local blacksmith.
Disclaimer: Please do not attempt any of the half baked ideas above. Guaranteed to result in natural selection.
Anvil Shooting
http://www.anvilfir...ly4th/top_index.htm Apparently an Independence Day tradition [half, Sep 27 2002]
[link]
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I like the idea of pyrolympics, but I can't see the value of limiting the energy source to just black powder. Also, manual ignition is just foolish in this day and age of remote ignition technology. |
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// Guaranteed to result in natural selection. // |
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Or is that the whole point, I wonder? |
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Also, I think you should switch your title and subtitle. Pyrolympics sounds much better. |
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Beat the flame race, wear a can of gun powder on your
back with a big hole in the bottom, open the hole let the
powder come out now run as fast as you can and keep
running till the can runs out of gunpowder because
sombody is about to light the trail. |
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(+) //Purely fictional//: sez you -
"Anvil Shooting" is baked. (link) |
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Purely fictional referred to the concept of having explosive olympics, not the events. Actually, everything there is baked, but I'm trying to dissuade any moron kids from accidentally removing fingers or toes. The sound of an anvil launching is quite impressive... Manual ignition is for that old time, wild wild west nostalgic feeling, same goes for using only authentic black powder. |
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I forgot, it's aired on the TNT network... |
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Austere: That link reads like an inquiry from the FBI.. I wonder if they're logging IP's? |
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Hvaing already represented England in an international friework competition, I will submit my application to complete, and also award you a croissant for a truly inspired idea. And I can promise to bring lots of friends. |
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One question - why bother with safety equipment for the competitors ? |
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EDIT: Can I propose another event ? "Dustbin racing". Take a standard galavinsed-iron dustbin, with lid. Place a charge of explosives on the ground (Gellomex works well). Place the lid over the charge. Place the bin, open end dowm over the lid. Stand well back and initiate the charge. Whoever gets their bin to go the furthest/highest is the winner. |
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NB you can play similar games with a reel of Cordtex and full-grown pine trees. |
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PS Before playing either of the above games, competitiors are advised to dig a slit trench within leaping distance. |
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//an international friework competition//
"...and
the crowd goes silent as [8th of 7] stirs his pan of liver
and bacon..." |
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hippo: They were on the edge of their seats, I can tell you .... the delicious aroma of hot fat, the spitting and popping of the eggs, the crunch of fried bread..... ahh, happy days. We came away with third prize, and severely narrowed arteries. |
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