h a l f b a k e r yIf ever there was a time we needed a bowlologist, it's now.
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There is a recent fad whereby people pile up hay bales and then smear mud on them in an attempt to build a house. This is similar to the first two parts of goldilocks and we all know how THAT goes.
However - this in theory results in a house where you have meter thick walls full of hay keeping you
warm. Now. That is a lot of hay. And none of us has the time.
So let's solve all these problems at once.
Instead of framing your house with hay bales, frame it with chicken wire, flour, water, and leftover newspapers from the 90's. Lay in all your wiring, and here we can use the latest standards. Then poke holes in the wall in strategic areas, the size of local birdlife, and paint it to the color you prefer.
While you wait, birds will arrive, and start stuffing all kinds of fluffy dry goods into your walls.
Seal it off when you see straw sticking out the hole - done!
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Imagine the smell. No need to seal off, just keep a bird colony in the walls forever. |
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So the normal method is to start with straw, and then feed it into a baler, a large machine with rotating bars that beat the straw into a cuboid container where it is compressed and tied up with string to make cubic blocks. |
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You are suggesting starting with birds instead of straw? |
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Or we could just genetically engineer giant hens and build egg shaped houses they'll sit on? a new fashion in giant chick costumes may be necessary to avoid being mistaken for bugs or small vertebrates and eaten whenever you leave the house. |
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So the idea is to get birds to do the work of filling your wall insulation cavity with insulating material? |
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There may be a bit of a wait involved, do we move in before or after they've finished? |
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Next proposal introduce beavers wherever you want a dam and just wait for them to build it? |
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Wasn't it the Three Little Pigs that built a straw house? (And then a stick house....and then a brick house). |
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Or was Goldilocks a sister to the three pigs - Miss Piggy? - who didn't think much of the construction business and left to hunt down some baby porridge and a nice comfortable place to nap while her brothers did all the work... |
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Or am I confusing this with the Little Red Hen (who baked a bread house all on her own because no one wanted to help) ....and then proceeded to eat it all by herself too and became a giant hen? |
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Or was that Hansel and Gretel and the gingerbread man? |
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