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Bird Alarm
Because nature is cruel, but cats are crueler. | |
A small button is attached to a speaker in my garden.
When I see a cat lurking near my bird bath, I hit the button. A pre-recorded bird alarm call sounds, and the robins / pigeons / coaltits / bluetits skidaddle.
The cat is thwart, but enjoyed the stalking. The birds retreat mid bathe, but are
otherwise unscathed. I get to enjoy my wildlife scene without witnessing feather clouds of carnage. Garden life retain equilibrium without me having to run outside and chase off the cat. Acme bird company earns $9.99. Everyone's a winner.
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Needs a cat scarer mode too. Next door's cat appears to have developed a liking for suet cakes, and has takien to scaring off the birds and then trying to eat the bird food. |
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Also needs a magpie scarer, for when the magpie that thinks it owns the garden chases away all the smaller birds and tries to vandalise the feeders in its attempts to get the food out as fast as possible. |
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Fortunately, our garden is not prone to squirrel infestation. |
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Oh, and what about sparrowhawks? |
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// Acme bird company earns $9.99//
Cut out the middle-man. Shoot the cat. |
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There's an opportunity for a bird psychologist to open a franchise near your garden, to deal with all the post traumatic stress / eating disorders triggered by these approaches. |
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Indeed ... even now, the research grant funding proposal is probably being drafted. |
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//*you can't honestly call a scene that is rigged in the birds' favor "wildlife", now can you?// |
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Bird creates nest, and fends to bring up chicks. Cat lives in centrally heated house, is fed and pampered daily by owners, and taken to vet at first sign of trouble. I think I'm redressing the balance rather than rigging the scene. |
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For those times when you are not around to personally foil the cats plans - you can activate a radio beacon implanted in the cat ('s collar) - sounding the alarm automatically when cat gets too close. |
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I thought this was like when you *schwing* are just standing
on the sidewalk and *schwing* all the these pretty *schwing*
*schwing* ladies walk past and you *schwing* *schwing* ha..
*schwing* ..ve to tell your mates. |
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now that's messin' wi(th)e natural order things of! Le(t)hem
hunt! Blarg! |
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Cats have an intense dislike of having slightly warm maple syrup poured over them. |
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That comment raises so many questions, 8th. But dare I ask them? |
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[theleopard] I was thinking it should sound like a wolf-whistle |
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