h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vedi, fish velocipede
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A fingerprint scanner adorns the plunger of this toaster. Bread is inserted, and as the plunger is plunged, the biometric toaster seamlessly identifies who the operator is.
In this way, using a preset database linking people to toasting times, every household member gets their own personally preferred
shade of brown.
Will Smith
https://youtu.be/Wmrwj6DDt-4?t=33
Reference [evilpenguin, Nov 15 2015]
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Annotation:
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Do you never make toast for other members of your household? |
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We intend to cash in on that very situation, by marketing a silicone mould kit that lets family members construct a grotesque keychain sporting the severed fingers of their loved ones. |
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As opposed to Barometric Toaster which can be set to only
make toast when it reaches an altitude of 20,000 ft. |
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Didn't Will Smith experience this in MIB? |
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As opposed to the biomimetic toaster which you look
after for three years under the impression that it is a
dog. |
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// marketing a silicone mould kit that lets family members construct a grotesque keychain sporting the severed fingers of their loved ones /// |
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Oh, how we wish we'd thought of THAT one .... |
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You will, [8th], you will. |
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[xenzag], that gives me an idea... (I'm going to steal that title) |
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[poc] dip your other houshold member's finger on the bread,
and when inserting the bread into the toaster it will search
for fingerprints (and other forensic evidence) |
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Would this be manufactured by the Sirius Cybernetics
Corporation as a companion product to the Nutrimatic Drink
Dispenser? |
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