h a l f b a k e r yI never imagined it would be edible.
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Imagine..
You are screaming down the throat of your favorite laid strip of asphalt, experiencing that 'increased sampling rate' of the Universe around you as she contorts indelibly to the press of your existance slicing through her space/time and you acknowledge this eternal imprint in her satiny
drape of physics and all by indulging your own senses that much deeper, claiming that much more essence from being, savagely thrusting loose the grasp of remaining conservatism and allowing yet again your body's blood pumping organ to increase its rpm's to a new level as you give and take your body's weight into and out of the curves that you navigate sensuously without commitment past any given moment and all this is yours as you take it straddled upon an intimate friend, heavy with wide and hot body now whose internal combustion is leaking a loud and steady drone-- the way a lioness leaks a commanding yet steady purr on a satisfyingly serendipitous Serengeti plain-- and still you go for more as you make your friend scream once more by snapping back impulsively on the grip that controls it all allowing the solvent liquid to rush faster than ever into her high performance block. Your friend squeals as she responds obediently. Then, you pierce through to hyper-consciousness, your eyes s u c k i n g on the display of transient cosmic rays penetrating through somber masses of tree canopies. In your heightened awareness--a new frame of relativity--- you think about the unfathomable numbers of light particles spewed from the sun each moment that wail through space heading directly at the spot you occupy or the spot that you will occupy in the next moment and so forth but for most numbers this happens in vain as they ram with silent thunder into the paths of quivering leaves bouncing forever away in a complimentary angle, others annihilated by way of absorption and molecular dessimination into the bowels of the life seeking photosynthetic entities that share the scenic country landscape with you. What is it that makes some particles so noble that they are entitled to filter through and allowed to dance in celebration off of your physical presence? Is it because you subconsciously allow them to do so? Well then, if that's so, then you ARE the master and for this moment the Universe is a sweet sweet ribbon of candy. You take a savoring lick. Then, it is you that squeals...
Unfortunately you are denied a squeal of decadence.
If you had only the character to have worn ...
..."THE BIKER"S GLOVE"... Anxiety over the impending impact with the cow that just stepped into the road up ahead would have been greatly diminished. With... "THE BIKER"S GLOVE"... you would have had near immediate protection from the consequences of such distracting indulgences. "THE BIKER"S GLOVE"..., a full body zute suit specially designed for Harley Hog lovers has strategically placed co2 canisters and impact 'bellows' modestly concealed in the rippled full grain leather uppers and lowers. The co2 cartridges lay waiting the command to explode, by a complex circuit of tiny mercury switches, into the tender folds of the 'bellows' thereby providing a greater measure of comfort during unfortunate meetings between riders of road hogs and objects in different frames of relativity such as cows. Choose your fate... like the two fates of separate cosmic particles [sort of inversely though]--Do you chose to be just another cosmic dude that ends up being annihilated, absorbed upon impact and disseminated in the bowels of a methane machine or do you choose the 'complimentary' angle of fate where by grace and good living ideals you are set forth in motion bouncing off forever along a random course determined by chaos theory your gift of nobility granted by the life sustaining features of ..."THE BIKER"S GLOVE....?
Zoot Suit
http://www.zootsuit...roductCode=ZSPULTRA
Maybe not so practical for inflating or wearing on a motorcycle. Still, cherchez la femme... [calum, Aug 23 2002]
Air Bag Clothing
http://www.halfbake...m)_20for_20Clothing
Half Baked by the good doctor, but I think this application is rather more sensible. [DrCurry, Aug 23 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]
Polo Shirts
http://www.polo-shirts.co.uk
Get you group logo embroidered or printed for free on selected items of clothing! [asdfgh, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
baked
http://softline-onl...h/airbag/airbag.htm
though not full-body and it doesn't come in leather [chud, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
Review of airbag vest
http://www.american...s/ainncom1225.shtml
bikers don't seem to like the idea too much [chud, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
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The idea isn't to wear it inflated. It's along the lines of a suit of strategically placed mini air bags ready for instant deployment, just like auto airbags. The benifits are, well, less impact force and.. uh.. better appearances for die hard bikers. I suppose it would be a good idea to have an overide "off" switch so that when your checking out another bike and go to kick the tires you don't suddenly turn into the Michelin' Man! |
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So this is what the bikers who blast past my house throughout the night with the engine at full throttle, pumping out 120 decibels, feel. At least they don't wake me up five times a night for no good reason. |
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Welcome. Excellent concept. |
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A couple of questions leap to mind: How will mercury switches determe the need to inflate the suit? Car air bags detect an impact and deploy the airbag before the secondary impact occurs i.e. you and the interior of the car. What will be the triggering activity? Your impact with the cow? Your impact with the bike just before your impact with the cow? |
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Will CO2 cartridges provide the needed near-instantaneous inflation of the suit? I have a friend who worked on early air-bag development and I think that they determined that compressed nitrogen cylinders and mechanical valves couldn't act quickly enough. |
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Thanks for the link to air bag clothing. There just never seems to be enough time to know it all. I'm surprised it's taking industry so long to come up with a working prototype. Actually this was an idea I had five years ago but was more impressed by the eccentricity of it to keep it for comic story writing. About two years later I saw something similar in development written up in Popular Mechanics (?) but nothing since. Come on engineers! I really buy the idea that nothing is as powerfull as an idea whose time has come. Hey and thanks UnaBubba for the welcome. This is my 'first' ;) I wasn't sure I had even made the official submit and suddenly I'm "on" and wearing my pajamas! |
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//for comic story writing// Heh. Upon first read, my cynical mind envisioned: cartoon crash, bounce off udder of cow, careen across pavement - limbs flailing, seconds of moaning and groaning, PHOOOOF of suit inflating, tight focus on right suit sleeve embroidered logo "Acme". |
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Airbags are pyrotechnic device using a "low tempeature" gas generator composition. The recoil as they go off needs to be considered. Also, despite the fact that they are (allegedly) low temperature as stted, in fact the cartridge gets pretty hot in the deployment process.
The fining mechanism probably neds to be based more on an accelerometer than tilt swicthes .... |
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[8th of 7], my point 'zactly. But the firing mechanism needs to be attached to the thing that senses the deceleration first (bike, or maybe on the cow?). |
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Just to make things more complicated, maybe the explosion recoil could be beneficial if directed in a vector opposing that of the moving body. |
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Hmm.. combinations of impacts and when to trigger..
Well I guess I'm developing this in more detail as I go. If I just rammed a bike at high speeds into a guard, rail that would be my first impact. I would expect to sail for a bit before having my second impact with the ground or brick wall or something. So timing and deployment would be similar as in auto air bag deployment in this scenario. However I realize some objects don't provide such clearance when hit by a biker such as the road hazards we face here in Alaska. A moose will conveniently allow the complete salvage of a perfectly good bike by allowing the bike undisturbed passage under it's belly while the rider experiences exactly the opposite sensation. That would be a good incentive to purchase the deluxe upgrade or model that combines the basic mechanical switch deployment along with a programmed "smart release" sensor. The smart release sensor having two parts, the first being attached to breaking componenets, even after market, and the second part is of the electrical switching built into the suit. The breaking component smart part simply detects abrupt or sudden breaking factors conmbined with relative speed and sends the signal to deploy to the switch in the suit. With a car airbag you have the force of the bag inflating at you at the same time you are heading into it, hence the trouble with airbags in the past. But wearing a Biker's Glove, the mini bags are place symmetrically around the body. The force of the bags deploying should be almost nil compared to autos since they are in immediate proximity of the body and their expansion goes outward from that placement. If they were triggered by set parameters only slightly more often than an accident actually occured, I don't think their deployment would be as disruptive for remaining in control as when false deployment happens in autos. And the chances of reducing just a small percentage of motorcycle injuries would outway the 'embarrassment of premature release'. |
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Well from watching several incidences myself, an accelerometer switched deployment would do nothing for the rider who loses traction, back wheel breaking loose slowly and steadily getting lower to the pavement but sliding forward with wheels first. As for the temperature of a gas releasing I'm talking a cylinder about the size of a small butane cartridge- you know for travel curling irons and stuff- but without the butane- And we need to keep in mind we're talking about making sensible trade-offs here. How hot does leather get when its smeared across a hot asphalt road for about 50 yards? At various speeds? How much pain can a well designed exploding gas cartridge that might save ones bottom compared to the pain of hitting a mack track side on ? At various speeds? (I'm really just being analytical here.) |
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Welcome. Excellent concept. |
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A couple of questions leap to mind: How will mercury switches determine the need to inflate the suit? Car air bags detect an impact and deploy the airbag before the secondary impact occurs i.e. you and the interior of the car. What will be the triggering activity? Your impact with the cow? Your impact with the bike just before your impact with the cow? |
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Will CO2 cartridges provide the needed near-instantaneous inflation of the suit? I have a friend who worked on early air-bag development and I think that they determined that compressed nitrogen cylinders and mechanical valves couldn't act quickly enough. |
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Half baked in the book "Snow Crash". The Character, YT, wore a voice activated version of this suit when hitching rides on her skateboard from moving cars. The voice command was "Oh, Shit!!!"... |
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Designed by a girl. Who'd have thunk it? |
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I'm sure that I saw this on TV, it might have been operated by a cord tied to the wrist pulling out a pin in a socket on the bars [link] |
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Air bag motorcycle jackets and impact protection gloves at www.hit-air.com |
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