Bemuse With Fraction of c

id like to have a clock that told me how fast id need to be going (in terms of n/speed of lite) in order for an observer to record me as taking such & such amount of time, & then told me how much time would appear to elapse to me; then when some sucka on the other end of my cell phone is annoyedly & annoyingly making a point about my chronic & incurable impunktuality, id deploy the decoy of the difference in our recorded times were i actually to travel at the rate the sucka demands for me to be on time... from there, i'm struttin down easystreet: providing a mini-lecture on conceptual special relativity & it's implications; stalling & bemusing until i arrive or the sucka forgets.

The clock is the crucial link between the Danger & the Safety.

the sucka would cease being a sucka whence it uttered: "well; if you had your shit together, then you wouldn't need to go x fast." Then i'd need to reference my 'Ooh Commence Plan B! Clock"