Beer on Pump

Both petrol and beer are essential items for most of us to continue our daily lives. Both of them are sold in liquid form, both of them are hazardous to drink before driving, and both of them attract punitively high taxes in most countries.

Unfortunately, it is there that the similarities end.

I'd like to consider one of the differences; the method of distribution. Petrol is not sold in small tin cans. Beer is not issued by a pump at a 24 hour filling station.

Personally, I cannot see great value in selling petrol in small cans, but there are many advantages to selling beer through a filling station pump. This new idea will revolutionise beer because it will:

1) Save the environment by reusing beer containers

2) Permits credit-card purchases of beer 24/7 even in unstaffed or minimally staffed filling stations

3) An additional income stream for petrol stations

4) Opens the possibility of many halfbakery ideas such as 'second fuel tank for beer' and games based upon landing exactly on a round pint mark.

5) Remove alcoholic bums from the city centre and the entertainment areas by attracting them to sit on the pavement outside the petrol station.

Safety would be a worry as it could lead to drinking and driving. This can be easily avoided in unmanned filling stations by requiring that the car's foot brake light remains on whilst filling takes place; making it pretty tough for a driver to fill his own beer due to having to keep his foot on the brake. The mechanism used here would be a simple requirement of an increase in luminosity above a certain level within the appropriate area as measured by a red-filtered CCTV system.