h a l f b a k e r yOn the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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...with beer glass nametags. Simply affix your handy nametag (custimised by your good self) onto your selected beverage with suction pads. A removable card insert would provide the name/colour/catchphrase of your choice.
Gone will be the days of wondering why each time you turn from the pool table
there seems to be a little less in your glass. Also useful when taking part in other pub athletics such as darts, bowling and fighting.
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Annotation:
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Affixes "timo" nametag to croissant |
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Put the word 'Poison' on mine...that'll be enough to fool my nit-witted friends. |
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Readily available: personalized glasses/mugs (as well as virtually everything else...). Engrave your name on a pewter stein. |
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There's a story about a guy who left his beer on the table while he went to the john. He put a note by it saying "I've spat in this". When he returned, there was another note saying "So have I".
An old friend of my mother's used to leave his glass eye in his beer when he left the table. |
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A friend of mine was presented with an engraved pewter tankard on his 18th birthday, by his father. |
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Unfortunately, it was engraved "John Smith 1979-1987". |
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Now whenever anyone sees it at his mothers house they offer their condolences for her sad loss. |
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I always know which glass is mine. That's why God gave us lipstick. |
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This idea is baked, I'm afraid, by the kinds of ladies who schedule play dates*, organize bridal shower games, and spend a lot of time thinking about casseroles. |
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The "wineglass tag" is a little metal-and-glass object on a hook that comes in a set with three to five other tags. Each tag is similar to the others, but it's a different color, or flower theme, or whatever. You simply hang the hook over the rim of your glass, and you always know which is yours. |
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I hate wineglass tags. For one thing, they fit into that class of objects that can best be called "expensive items that make stupid gifts"; for another, they're completely useless on martini glasses. |
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I do like the idea of a little card with my name on it, though. If I ever run out of lipstick, I'll give this a try. |
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(*A play date, to those of you in saner societies, is an instance in which one kid's mom invites another kid's mom and her own child over to "play". Both mothers then sit around talking and watching the kids like hawks, as the children self-consciously play. Kids often do not rebel against the tyranny of the play date, because it is in this setting that they learn which of their friends' parents are rich, mean, crazy, or sleeping around.) |
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There is a tavern on Martha's Vineyard which offers customers a token every time they buy a drink. Once a customer has some number of tokens (250 I think) the tavern will engrave a tag for a mug which they can thereafter ask for by name (their mug will be kept at the bar). For some larger number of tokens (1000 or so) the tavern will engrave a tag for one of the bar stools. If the person shows up, they can request their own bar stool; anyone else using it will be asked to find another. |
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The most elegant solution I've seen to this perennial problem (besides clinging tenaciously to one's booze) was a set of cocktail glasses from the 1960s I saw - had a patch of some kind of plastic (like on whiteboards)forming a blank that read '[______]'s Drink' which can be penned in with (ideally!) a whiteboard marker. Voila. Said glasses also had a check-list down the side of various cocktails - ideal for the host who collects everybody's glass, confuses which one belongs to whom, and furthermore forgets who is drinking a G&T and who is drinking a Sidecar. The only problem, I suppose, is when you lose the pen after your 23rd Tequila FannyBanger (w/all due respects to Berke Breathed, of course). |
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