h a l f b a k e r yInvented by someone French.
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Bears sometimes kill and eat people. This is bad for the
people, because they're no longer alive, and bad for the
bears, because they're usually hunted down and shot. It's
also bad for the area, because it hurts tourism. So, let's
solve this.
Bears are reasonably smart, at least as smart as
rats. So,
using conditioning (behavioral, not in-shower fur care) we
can prevent them from going anywhere near humans. Now,
bear conditioning is sort of baked <link>, but it's crude,
essentially shouting and pelting them with rubber bullets.
So let's set up camp. Literally, a tent, a truck with human
sound track and campfire smell and food smell. Only
there's electric fence type shockers on all the objects, and
when touched, the fake humans give off a nasty blast of
compressed air, or something.
You could dot these about the place, especially the bigger
national parks, and eventually, the bears will learn that
things that sound and look like humans may smell like
food, but they hurt, and there's no food. Back to the river
for salmon it is.
Bear Conditioning
http://www.bearsmar...nagement/non-lethal [bs0u0155, Dec 14 2013]
[link]
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Nice try, but this would probably backfire and end
up teaching bears how to be electricians. Anyway, I
like it. |
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// teaching bears how to be electricians // |
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"They're taking our jarbs !" |
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Just make sure they don't leave any bear
wires. |
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I had a dog once who would chew up expensive leather horse bridles. Only the leather ones, and only the best ones. |
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I tried putting hot pepper sauce on the damn things. All that happened was he developed a taste for cajun cooking. |
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//shouldn't this be called a scare-bear?/ |
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Thought of that, but it's already the title of another
idea. There's already "Bear-crow" and "Bear-
Conditioning". that's not a bad pun-density. |
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Bears essentially have nothing to do but sit around all day
and figure out how stuff works. If you put out electric
shock deterrent devices and just leave them there, I give it
two seasons before people start getting mugged by bears
armed with home-made tasers. |
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