h a l f b a k e r yOutside the bag the box came in.
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Because nothing outlasts the most obnoxious
toy under the tree, at least not my patience,
these batteries shut off mysteriously between
designated hours.
Kong Wubba
https://www.kongcom...ubba/wubba-classic/
"Dogs love to squeak the Wubba and shake the flapping tails back and forth." ... Proceed to Hell. Proceed directly to Hell. Do not pass Purgatory, Do not collect two hundred Temazepam. [8th of 7, Dec 23 2017]
[link]
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Nothing is quite the same as the unobtrusive glee that comes from gifting an unpleasantly noisy toy to the revolting offspring of some detested relative by marriage, along with two 50-packs of long-life alkaline cells, ensuring frayed nerves, rows, bad temper and insomnia well beyond Twelfth Night, so no. [-]. |
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<hastily checks whether ShiTzu Squeaky Toys 'R Us can still deliver in time for Christmas> |
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That sort of thing could drive those of a moderately sensetive
disposition to suicide. |
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Excellent, most satisfactory. |
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// ShiTzu Squeaky Toys 'R Us can still deliver in time for
Christmas // |
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Thou floggest a deceased equine, M'Lud. |
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There is a device, maliciously invented by some evil goblin,
called the Kong Wubba. |
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If you lack familiarity with this horrendous device, think of it as a
tiny set of bagpipes uniquely adapted for the entertainment of
small fluffy dogs. |
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No batteries are required; nothing more than carefully
modulated jaw pressure, resulting in a remarkable range of
supremely irritating sounds. |
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Strangely, these sounds appear to be highly satisfactory to said
small fluffy dogs, since they clearly understand the suffering that
they are gratuitously inflicting. |
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//Thou floggest a deceased equine// What I get up to in my spare time is very much my own business. However, I do note that you have only referred to the toy in the singular. |
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They take it in turns. They're very polite about it. |
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Little swines, they are. It's the way they so carefully judge the silences, waiting until the very moment of dropping off to sleep, and then suddenly SqueekaSqueeka ... Squeeeeek ... Eek ... Ik ... SQUEEKASQUEEKASQUEEKA SQUEEKASQUEEKASqueekaSqueekIk ... .Ikeek .. THUD THUD THUD THUD SQUEEKASQUEEKASQUEEKATHUDSquik ... Ik ... Ik .... THUMP SQUEEKA Ek ... |
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Must be very annoying, having it only in mono. |
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When I was a kid we always got the dog a squeaky toy for Christmas. |
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We knew perfectly well that we'd only have about half an hour of
demented squeaking before she ripped the thing to confetti. |
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Just to clarify, did the squeaking emanate from the toy, or the
dog ? |
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Quite frankly, it ruins the whole effect. |
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An interesting choice of word. |
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Actually, if you put about 6 lithium cells into a ShiTzu, it'll run for about 4-6 hours and then stop. |
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I saw a dog at the zoo, the other day.... |
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Was it an interesting zoo, or a lousy one? |
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// if you put about 6 lithium cells into a ShiTzu, it'll run for about 4-6 hours and then stop // |
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Fascinating. It's obviously time to move the trial on to First In Man, although if the ethics committee object it may be necessary to have an intermediate phase using one of the lower primates, such as - just as an example - molecular biologists. |
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