h a l f b a k e r yWarm and Fussy
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One of the joys of cricket is the sound of the wooden bat striking the leather clad ball, but in a large and noisy venue, the more subtle detail of this unique sound can easily be lost.
The solution to is simple - fit a tiny pick-up microphone into the main body of the bat, which transmits the vibrations
to an amplifier that in turn broadcasts them to the surrounding spectators.
Similar devices could be installed in baseball bats, golf clubs, tennis rackets etc
Approximately sixty percent down the page...
http://www.avisoft.com/sounds.htm
...Leistler's bat social calls...TURN IT UP! [normzone, Aug 26 2011]
The Aluminium Bat incident.
http://www.youtube....g6WeQ3xx3d16nVYk5RQ
[DrBob, Aug 26 2011]
BBC test match "leg over" hilarity
http://news.bbc.co....yid=6961129&bbcws=1
cricket commentary's finest moment.... I defy anyone to listen to this and not fall about laughing. Those who live in the colonies may not get it (Aussies and Kiwis excepted) [xenzag, Aug 26 2011]
A picture of the Pacific Ocean
http://en.wikipedia...ubl_1837_edited.jpg
Another British eccentricity. [mouseposture, Aug 28 2011]
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... so not a Chiropteran hearing prosthesis then ? |
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//One of the joys of cricket is the sound of the wooden bat striking the leather clad ball//
Not if you are on the fielding team it ain't!
This idea calls to mind one of the Great Moments in Cricket History. Linky. |
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Ever notice how nobody but the Brits refer to former empire-enslaved nations as 'the colonies' anymore? |
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That's just a manifestation of the well known "teenager's embarrassing parents" phenomenon. They'll get over it when they grow up and have colonies of their own. |
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Isn't that because it was only the British Empire where the term for the colonies was "the colonies"? Presumably the French, for example, had a more foreign word for them, one with 50% more vowels. |
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If the beef is that such usage is condescending (and I can see why it might appear to be), it might be worth making clear that use of the term is usually couched with a slight disparaging nudge directed not at those former outposts of Empire, but at our failure to maintain possession of either them, or what was once seen as our rightful place in the world. It's more a more rueful usage than it is malicious. |
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They are "The Colonies" in the same way that other institutions are referred to , such "The Royal Navy" or "The Royal Society" - in each case, use of "The" as a prefix is a short form for "The Only One That Matters, Actually". |
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Other plodding imitators are actually obliged to insert the name of their country before the noun, to make it clear who it belongs to. How humiliating. |
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//to make it clear who it belongs to.// gr: to whom it belongs. Tut tut, hivemind the size of a planet, etc. |
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Televised Major-League Baseball has this baked
(just on tv, not in the park): they already run the game on
five- or
ten-second delay to edit out managers shouting obscenities
at the umpire and spectators flashing the cameras, so they
take advantage of that to dub in a "crack!" when the batter
makes contact, even if it's just a bunt, and a "vvvt!" sound
when the ball hits the catcher's mitt. It's utterly ridiculous,
and the only reason it doesn't really bother me is that I
loathe baseball. It is quite possibly the only sport that is
more boring to watch than soccer. |
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// They'll get over it when they grow up and have colonies
of their own. // |
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We do have colonies of our own, only we call them
'territories' and, unlike you limey gits, we've managed to
hold onto most of ours. You're just sore losers, that's all. |
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Thay would be like, "Territory of Iraq/Lybia/Place with Accessible
Oil Reserves" ? |
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No, you're confused: I meant Guam, Puerto Rico, the US
Virgin Islands, etc. |
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Those places you named are _future_ US Territories. Don't
beat yourself up, though; anybody could have made that
mistake. |
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//Presumably the French, for example, had a more
foreign word// "DOM-TOM" On paper, anyway,
lotta French colonies weren't colonies, merely parts
of
France located overseas. |
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//You Brits *do* remember the Falklands, I presume? Well, we had 'em first).// - not so fast with the Falklands claim |
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"English Captain John Strong sailed between the two principal islands in 1690 and called the passage "Falkland Channel" (now Falkland Sound), after Anthony Cary, 5th Viscount Falkland (1659–1694), who as Commissioner of the Admiralty had financed the expedition and later became First Lord of the Admiralty. From this body of water the island group later took its collective name." source wikipedia. I can find no record of an American claim. |
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What's all this got to do with fitting a pick-up to the bat used in the world's most popular game? |
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Once they be a colony, they always be a colony. (Sir Cheggard Monstrom) |
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Meanwhile in the history of the Falklands I can find no evidence of an American claim, and any one that exists is predated by hundreds of years. "In 1765, the British captain John Byron explored and claimed Saunders Island on West Falkland.... and a settlement was constructed in 1766. He claimed the island group for King George III, and introduced the game of cricket." |
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[mp] There are still districts of Paris in the Caribbean and the Pacific. |
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[j_p]] Cool! Tell us more. |
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(Of course British Admiralty lawyers can say, with a
perfectly straight face, that the Pacific Ocean is
located here <link>.) |
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Shirley this would be an electric bat, then? |
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Yes - you are quite right [ye_river_xiv] With a string tensioned across the pick-up, that bat could double up as a musical instrument. |
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Is it now too late to forestall the inevitable "Cricket Bat Hero" idea posting ? |
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