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The comedian Ron White made a surprisingly valid point while joking about field sobriety tests administered during traffic stops when the cop suspects a motorist of being intoxicated. It's not *really* a sobriety test so much as it is an agility test, and if you're not very agile you might well not be
able to pass even if you're sober.
So the idea here is to have you take a baseline sobriety test, while sober, which goes into the law enforcement database so an administering police officer has notes on your record to compare your performance against to assist in determining your actual level of impairment.
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The incentive then would become to do very poorly on your baseline tests. |
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If stopped by a police officer in the US do not answer questions, do not agree to do a field sobriety check, if ordered to do something confirm it's an order under threat of violence or your freedom. If driving keep your window rolled most of the way up. Do not consent to searches. Do not talk about your day. Do not say whether you know why you were pulled over. Do not try to be friendly. Do not say where you were or were not or are going or not going. Do not try to talk your way out of it. Do not say what you mind or don't mind. Say, "I am exercising my right to remain silent" and then stay silent, aside from "I don't consent to any searches" and "is that an order or a request?". If ordered out of the car close and lock the door, leaving the keys in the car if you have a hidden key or another way to get in. In some states you may be penalized for not blowing in their alcohol test. Know your state's law in that regard. Do not blow unless the law says you have to even if you're stone cold sober. |
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They won't like you and they will probably ticket you but better a ticket than a ride. A ticket and refusing them the pleasure will probably cost you an hour or two. Talking or, worse, allowing a search could cost tens of thousands of dollars for lawyers, impound fees, and car repairs and weeks in jail even though you're completely innocent. |
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2 fries, this would be voluntary, and the way to prevent that would be to incentivize good performance with a discount or outright waiver on the issuance fee. |
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Yea, interesting idea but who'd want to establish a good baseline? I'd be slurring my words, stumbling, teetering over and I don't ever drink. Be like, just in case I start drinking again someday. |
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Honestly, I've said for years that overall human performance is limited by the abilities of the majority. It sounds like a perfectly reasonable way to organize things, but no, instead they talk about it becoming illegal to eat a friggin sandwich while driving. |
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Personally I can safely drive a tractor trailer steering with one knee and roll a joint at the same time, but does that count?... |
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No!
Should it?
Probably not, I digress. |
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...but God help you scarfing a BigMac in your wife's Subaru boy! |
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Insofar as I've experienced since my own state's distracted driving laws were expanded to include consumption of food or beverage, it is not a primary offense. That is, they can't (or from what I've seen, don't) pull you over for it. What it is is basically an aggravating factor, so if you do commit a primary offense that warrants a traffic stop and your eating or drinking appears to have been a contributing factor, it gives them extra muscle to hit you with penalties. |
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Or, in other words... if you really are capable of safely operating your vehicle while steering with your knee and applying condiments to your burger and then consuming said burger, then you should be capable of doing so without getting yourself pulled over. If you get legitimately pulled over while doing these things, however... then maybe you aren't as capable as you think of doing them safely? |
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My absolutely honest baseline test wouldn't let me do shit after the fact. I'd slay it and then be limited by the result... just like real life. |
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So test folks for what they can do. or observe, or withstand, or whateverthefuck, but differentiate between them for fuck sake. |
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How many beers could Andre the Giant drink and still drive? Over the legal limit? Probably... and yet fuck your metrics on that dude. |
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...and on that note, fuck your metrics on me. |
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