h a l f b a k e r yNeural Knotwork
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For this inside wall you can buy bar code wallpaper, or better yet, save your own bar codes from the products you consume. In the latter case, cut them in squares and glue them to the wall in a checkerboard or wavy pattern. Cover with three coats of lacquer.
Although your attractive, striped wall
in black, blue, red and green is already awesome, genuine ecstasy will arrive with your wall-traversing, scanner robot. This mechanical marvel uses active suction cups to roll back and forth across the wall in a random manner or when steered by a radio controller.
Relax in your sofa, close your eyes and listen to the movement and soft, synthetic voice of the bar code tender, “psssht…psssht…psssht…dog food, 40 lb bag, $29.99…psssht…psssht…psssht…stretch lace bra, 36-D, $26.00…psssht…psssht…psssht…Weight Watchers Cookbook, 360 pages, $13.96...”
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I love it. You are disturbed, sir. I mean that in the nicest possible way. |
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these robots, they are not at all critical of your purchases are they? they don't tut or laugh or make any other insulting noises? |
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That could be done. They might say, "You are disturbed, sir. I mean that in the nicest possible way." |
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No, po, that's the job of "Smart Aleck Cash Registers" |
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FJ said it could be done. |
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are you disturbed at all? [krel] in any way at all? I have a feeling this could turn into an HB soundbite. |
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Not disturbed, just confused by that last anno. Can you rephrase? |
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You said no. FJ said it could be done <sigh> |
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just a continuation of the theme, thats all |
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Heh, this is great! What on Earth are you farming.. |
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Anyway, not entirely relevant, but my Dad works on POS systems and he once accidently swiped his shirt sleeve over a scanner to find, to his suprise, that it came up with toilet paper. |
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Barcode Tender, cover sheet
Never let me go
You have made my wall complete
And I psssht you so |
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[thumbwax] Vous êtes sur un croissant! = You're on a roll! |
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