h a l f b a k e r yInvented by someone French.
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Small children are rather hard to deal with on trains. They tend to want to mill about, make lots of noise and generally annoy other passengers.
I propose a section of a carriage on every large train be dedicated to them, with an integrated ball-pool, changing area and a larger luggage capacity.
Where
I am, at least, children under 5 don't need a ticket to travel - although they need to be accompanied by a paying adult. Therefore to make this commercially viable, there must be an additional charge for travel on this section of the train.
I propose replacing part of the 'First Class' carriage, as I've never seen one used to anywhere near capacity.
Portable Child Hypoxicator
Portable_20child_20hypoxicator
Why not integrate it with one of these? [Wrongfellow, Sep 03 2011]
Family Carriages on Swiss trains
http://www.swissinf...s.html?cid=24850942
Baked in Switzerland [prufrax, Sep 07 2011]
[link]
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//I propose replacing part of the 'First Class' carriage,
as I've never seen one used to anywhere near
capacity.// |
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Ahem. Kindly remove your children and give me
back my first-class carriage. The whole point of
making it extortionately overpriced is to ensure that
it is never full to capacity, thereby ensuring that
one doesn't have to share a seat. |
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Hey 21 you just won a free upgrade to first class. |
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Kids are like farts. You admire your own, hate other
people's. |
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The ball-pool and toy carriage would be filled with half-drunken halfbakers. At least that's where I'd ride. I prefer the company of children. That's why I hang out here I think... |
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This train needs a minature kiddie train that the rugrats can ride on while they play with their complimetary toy trains... |
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Bring back the smoking car. Go have a drink at the bar car. Make a special car for grumpy people. Make one with no windows for people who want to sleep... |
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Not just trains and planes, but everywhere on earth should have a special section for babies. In fact, there should be a whole country of just babies where you send your baby to when it's born and after it's old enough to behave in public, you go there and pick it up. |
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Points to 21Q and 2Fries. But MaxB, I am now going to wonder about you when I see you sitting by yourself smiling. |
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// go there and pick it up // |
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Please explain why you deem that step necessary. |
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Must be lonely being a borg. |
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You're not a parent, are you 21? Or perhaps you are - but you split. |
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Children start off without manners, and it takes several years to civilise them. |
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//Seriously, if you are that bothered by noise generated by the people around you, and you are a frequent train- rider, perhaps it is *you* who should invest in some quality earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones and a sleeper's mask so you don't have to *see* how annoying the rest of the world is.// |
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I am the parent. I'd be paying the premium partly to reduce annoyance to other passengers. It's politeness. |
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//Ahem. Kindly remove your children and give me back my first-class carriage. The whole point of making it extortionately overpriced is to ensure that it is never full to capacity, thereby ensuring that one doesn't have to share a seat. // |
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I'm thinking that buying a first-class ticket and sitting with my mewling infants next to you is plan B. |
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// Must be lonely being a borg. // |
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Mewling *and puking* if you please. |
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Children are annoying. That's why we love them. |
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//buying a first-class ticket and sitting with my
mewling infants next to you is plan B.// |
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Aha! Double-bluff. I'll be in cattle-class with mine.
Win win. |
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//Mewling *and puking* if you please.// |
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As you wish. Other optional extras include but are not limited to unidentified stickiness, mucus and faeces. |
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On a recent train journey, my one year old son produced copious vomit just as we were forming up our various luggage and child-associated infrastructure to get off at our first connection.
Not an easy trip. |
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Ha! My wife got out of a speeding ticket that way once. As soon as the cop looked in the window and the smell hit him he told her to, just try and make it home in one piece, and sent her on her way. |
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I'd take this one stage further, and extend the idea to restaurants, like in the bad old days of smoking/no-smoking. [+] |
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//Why don't we all just accept the fact that children are a part of our society// |
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For better or for worse, malaria and MRSA are parts of our society, too. |
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[-], and what 21 Quest said. |
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this makes me laugh - please join in and sing your favourite... |
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// Why don't we all just accept the fact that children are a part of our society // |
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Because that way lies misery. despair, substance abuse and eventual suicide. |
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// Parents shouldn't have to exile themselves from public places because they know their child is likely to find something to cry about. // |
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Yes they bloody well should ! |
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No-one asked them to produce their purple-faced dribble-soaked squalling brats. Dogs aren't allowed in numerous locations, but the great majority of dogs are cleaner, quieter, better behaved and much less liable to spread disease than the grizzling snot-smeared little germ factories that misguided parents continue to convey into food retail and service areas, scattering their contaminated exhalations and seemingly unlimited quantities of toxic and noxious bodily effluvia far and wide. |
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// the sound of a page turning in a paper book. // |
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Or someone with an excessively noisy heartbeat ... |
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// How about we take all the stuffy, self-important people who can't be bothered to tolerate society and put them in a padded, noise-proof room? Not first class, oh no. Just a padded room. // |
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Fine, AS LONG AS IT'S QUIET. |
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// Children are annoying. That's why we love them // |
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Children are annoying. That's why we hate them. |
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//extend the idea to restaurants // |
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What an excellent scheme. We look forward to the opening of a new dining establishment, complete with three Michelin stars, and the engaging title of "The Modest Proposal". |
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Inspection of the design of railway rolling stock reveals that it may well be possible to provide hatchways in the floor giving access to small, dark, poorly-ventilated and well-soundproofed coffin-like storage units, in which children may be placed for the duration of the journey. We suggest that these storage units be accessed via coin operated locks. For a small extra payment, the ventilation would be shut off altogether; for an additional sum, the floor of the unit opens automatically once the train reaches 100km/h. |
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The service would be called "Affordable Child Care". |
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//I propose replacing part of the 'First Class' carriage, as I've never seen one used to anywhere near capacity.// |
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Yepski - never mind Lord Maxwell. Problem is, a ball-pool and monkey bars section would be invaded by people like me! |
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Anyone who's ever ridden the T will understand the appeal
of a bounce-house car. |
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The "childfree by choice" crowd should just accept that irritating kids are the price to pay today, for the benefit of having someone to take care of you in the future. |
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Take care of who, now? Somehow I don't envision any of
those little brats taking care of anyone but themselves
when they're my age. I say this because I'm not taking of
anyone but myself (and family) right now, and it's only
going to get harder in the future. So by all means, let's
sequester the little future-ingrates and get some damned
peace
and quiet on the train. Unless there's a wheel with a flat
spot, or a bad bearing, or the brake shoes need replacing,
or... |
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I was thinking of doctors, nurses, nursing home employees, (and support staff, etc), who take care of the elderly. |
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//// Children are annoying. That's why we love them
// |
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Children are annoying. That's why we hate them.// |
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Here's a hint: think about it in Ev-Psych
terms. Children are annoying. That's why we love
them. |
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// I wonder if there is a russian-doll world-record
for concentric (what is the 3d equivalent? -nested) trains?
// |
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When I worked for the railroad, we generally discouraged
nesting activity. For one thing, the eggs are enormous,
and you're always missing a loco or two because they take
turns incubating the clutch, and then you show up at the
yard one morning and discover seven shorty tankers and
a switch engine on track 5 that weren't there the day
before. |
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They're cute when they're little, but clearing up the droppings is a
nightmare… |
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Well, I, at least, think this is a great idea. Irregardlessly of motivation, it would make my train journey much more pleasanter if my children travelled in such a section of the train. |
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Also: A Riffraff Section in Trains and Planes. |
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For teenage groups
that wish to harass passengers, write graffiti, and listen to
songs in high volume loudspeakers, and for adults who want to
yell into their cellphones. |
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What an excellent idea. Why not call it "Taser Class" ? |
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// like in the bad old days of smoking/no-smoking. [+] |
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What old days? Smoking cabin on the shinkansen (well, once you get out of Kanto anyway), restaurants with smoking areas... |
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//adults who want to yell into their cellphones. |
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Noticed on the London trains, between 6pm and 10pm, you might just as well put a loop tape on the PA going "Hello...hello....yeah, I'm on a train....do you want me to get some bread?" |
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