h a l f b a k e r yWhy on earth would you want that many gazelles anyway?
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It can be very tiresome having to decide if you are smelly enough to need a shower. Sometimes it is convenient to ask another human to sniff you and report on whether the pong is within tolerable limits but often this is not a practical solution.
Even if you decide that the stench is overwhelmingly
rancid, there is still the issue of having to actively go to the shower etc. etc.
Proposed is a unit that fits into a standard doorframe (and extends it slightly for those of you who live in buildings with walls less than six feet thick).
As you pass through this doorframe there are smoke-detector-like sensors that are calibrated to pick up the effluence of rancid human body. This then triggers high powered warm water nozzles to quickly and effectively shower you from all directions. After 10 seconds of water there is 20 seconds of warm air blasted all over before the sliding doors retract and you can continue on your way to go and get coffee or whatever it was you were intending to do.
Perhaps best installed on the exit route from your bedroom.
Maybe incorporate reflective light sensors tuned to your flesh tone so that the unit is disabled if you are wearing clothes.
Possible prior art
High_20speed_20whol...0automatic_20shower [whatrock, Oct 29 2021]
[link]
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Before I read that final sentence, I was going to applaud
this idea for the economy and time-savings which could be
delivered by something which simultaneously cleans both you
and your clothes. Another way this could work is to have a
Roomba-type device creep up on you, sniff your odour, and
then hose you down with a mild detergent. |
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Yes I read [8th]'s but that still requires the active decision to go and shower. Mine, you just get out of bed and stumble towards the kitchen. |
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There are many other door frame auto detection
systems that could be deployed. For example - a
shop that displayed the sign: "These Premises Are
Fitted With Auto Taser Anti-Shoplifting Device"
would deter all but the most brave and foolhardy
miscreants. The doorways would crackle and buzz
harmlessly as people entered and left but
periodically a hired actor would stage a fake
shoplifting auto tasering event. |
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