h a l f b a k e r yRIFHMAO
(Rolling in flour, halfbaking my ass off)
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Recycling is important, but there is some hassle involved. One should separate between clear glass bottles, colored glass bottles and plastic bottles. And recycle bins are often placed in locations that are off your usual routes, so you should intentionally pay them a visit when you wish to recycle.
This results in empty cans & bottles being stocked in piles around the house, until critical mass of garbage is reached.
In the near future (if this idea is accepted, of course) every bottle coming out of the bottle factory will be connected with a long, strong and light thread to a stationary pulley. These pulleys, one per bottle, will be initially loosened so the bottles can be filled, labeled and shipped as usual, rolling the thread behind them through their journey across the country.
Once you’ve done drinking your favorite beverage, signal the bottle factory somehow (suggestion: two firm pulls of the thread), and the pulley will mechanically pull the bottle back to its origin, where it could be recycled, filled and shipped again.
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you don't, by chance, still have an umbilical cord attached ? |
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You could save on string by noting that many bottles come in groups, like 6 packs of beer. You'd only need one long string to the first bottle, and then 5 shorter strings to the other bottles. |
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Seriously though, where I live the "can't somebody else do it?" theory has been applied - you put all your recyclable stuff in one box; it gets picked up from your house and sorted by someone else. |
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Yeah, where I live blue bags have been adopted. You put
all your recyclables into the blue bag and the garbage
people take it sort it, and recycle it. |
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<stumbles into parallel universe of croissant absurdity>
Screams "What the ....?" as thousands of nanowires slice body multidirectionally. Itchy and Scratchy pop through the wormhole also and dissolve in millions of thin sliced shards. Bottles of Duff Beer whiz across screen. |
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Where I live you get a small refund on each bottle you return (or have it pulled back to the bottle factory), so you can enjoy a tasty bubble gum after returning your 155'th empty bottle of beer. |
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