Asphalt Anchors

There is nothing more annoying than struggling to find a parking spot and having only no parking zones to choose from, unless it's coming back out to find your car has been towed. This is especially obnoxious if you have a good reason to park in a no parking zone: you have some kind of health emergency, you have to pee really bad, or you're a rich guy who thinks the rules should defer to your economic eminence.

Imagine the sense of security you could have if, when parking your car, you could insert a key, flip open a safety cover, and punch a big red button that fires a pair of rocket-propelled harpoons *into* the asphalt, buring them deep into the subsurface. The car remains secured to the harpoons by cables made of some sort of alloy strong enough to resist the ministrations of the average tow-truck driver.

When you return to your car, all you have to do is brush past the angry property owners, officials, and bystanders gathered around, get in, enter a security code, and explosive bolts sever the connection between the car and the harpoons, venting hot gas around the car to clear the way for your retreat.

You may, of course, choose between the less-expensive version, which requires the harpoons to be manually reloaded, or a fancier semi-automatic version, which has a six-round magazine.