h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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Fundraising endeavour, in which a fellow (or otherwise)
attempts to walk the length of Britain (or elsewhere),
from one coast t'other, in a straight line, regardless of
obstacles. We shall call this fellow (or otherwise) the
Crow.
Those obstacles the Crow does encounter must be
overcome
directly. The Crow can not circumnavigate.
Indeed, at no point may the Crow deviate from its line of
flight by more than one metre on either side. If the Crow
finds a truck in its way, the Crow clambers under it; a
skyscraper, the Crow climbs over it; a river, the Crow
swims across it.
A team of aides assist the Crow on its journey, providing
equipment where necessary, as well as shelter, support and
nutrition. They also organise any traffic diversions to
ensure the public's daily life is disrupted as little as
possible, in the event the Crow must journey upon tarmac.
Televised, to maximise exposure and potential donations.
Devil's footprints
http://www.mysterio...ils-footprints.html
Baked in 1855! [xenzag, Jul 02 2012]
Use of ley lines
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ley_line
may increase quantity and quantum of charitable donations from crusties, weirdos and Julian Cope. [calum, Jul 02 2012]
Crow AKA 'The Zax'
http://sanctuaryand...8/the-zax-dr-seuss/
[AusCan531, Jul 02 2012]
One of my sillier annotations
Something_20Worse_2..._20Global_20Warming
[theleopard, Jul 03 2012]
DOTT
http://www.2dgames....the%20tentacle.html
[theleopard, Jul 10 2012]
[link]
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As a sequel, vertical deviations could also be barred,
necessitating much use of shovels and explosives. |
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This is akin to how Mason & Dixon set about creating their line. One can only hope the consequences of the charity crow line as as disastrous for the UK and M&D's was for the US. |
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Had to look up the Mason & Dixon thing. What were
the disastrous consequences for the US? |
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Nice link [xenzag]. I'll attribute any copyright to the
behooved. |
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// What were the disastrous consequences for
the US ? // |
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Country Music and Line Dancing. |
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// What were the disastrous consequences for the US
? // |
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Well, it made for a nice jump-off point for our civil war,
for
one thing. Unfortunately, country music has northern roots
as well, leading to its widespread appeal virtually
everywhere two or more hicks can be found. |
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Line dancing we blame on the Irish. |
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Agreed. Country music died with the Man in Black. |
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One might use parkour techniques to implement this,
but parkour itself has nothing to do with simply
traveling in a perfectly straight line regardless of
obstacles. |
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Indeed. Similarly, at no point in parkour might you require to swim through a river, or walk up a motorway, or use suction pads to scale a glass building etc. But you're quite right, parkour would definitely be a useful skill set and give the Crow the right kind of training too. |
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Halfbaked by the Good Doctor Suess. [link] |
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What might be interesting is the aggregate height
climbed over the journey, particularly if it's through
London and the line falls over some of the taller
buildings. Might it be accumulatively as high as one
of the mountains of the world, when every house
and garden fence along the way is added on? |
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//What were the disastrous consequences for the US?//
Division, unnaturally straight and arbitrary division, was brought to and etched upon the Colonies. The philosophy of division, and the practice of drawing lines between things, became through this symbolic act (in settlement of a property dispute, no less) embedded in the colonial psyche, where it has persisted and proliferated. Witness Wyoming, Utah and Colorado, the most unnatural States of all. |
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Think I wrote something on here about that terrible
plight to the world; Global Wyoming, in which
everyone becomes obsessed with geographical right-
angles and declares war on Norway. |
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Ahh, Wyoming, something about the straightness of its borders makes me think it'd be a nice, secure, gentle place to live. |
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This whole world is a big round prison, and all the universe around it. If you don't believe me, just try and leave! You can't can ya? Such is the subtlety of our Sphericist Lizard Overlords! |
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What I didn't say in my two earlier annotations is that this is a great idea. In an ideal world, TV programme makers would not care a fig about crossing railway lines/motorways and trespassing on private property and this could be a homegrown Sport Relief type challenge for a Blue Peter presenter. |
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Apologies for intense parochialism, but I do think that this idea is particularly suitable for Beefy Botham style Land's End to John O'Groatsing it (though Cape Wrath to Buck House may be more sensible), given the relatively compact nature of the Kingdom, and the variation of landscapes and the superabundance of suburban semis for our charitable hero to clamber over. |
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Can an allowance be made for buildings to be passed through if possible to do so within the deviation constraints? If the path is there and on the correct line, why can it not be taken? Without this allowance, I think the possibility of this being attempted is significantly less likely. |
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It would be perhaps interesting for someone to get out a map of Great Britian and a suitable straight-edge, with which to determine the best path across the island for the purposes of this contest, taking into consideration concerns such as those mentioned by [calum]. |
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It would also be perhaps interesting to consider what constitutes the best path. Some obstacles of interest would be desirable (e.g. a noteworthy bridge or building), and some things must be avoided out of necessary (e.g. prisons, military properties). |
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I suppose extremity to extremity island-crossing need not, at first at least, be the starting point. No, each year, at Midsummer there is a race, from Milngavie to Fort William, along the 90-odd miles of the West Highland Way. The WHW runs in a an approximately NNWerly direction, taking a number of deviations for ruddy great hills and the like. I could see a guerrilla Iron Man style event requiring a straight line journey between these two disgusting shitholes being popular. Yes, the more I think about this idea, the more I like it. |
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//suction pads would be cheating// |
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I don't see why. It would still be bally hard work.
It's either that or climb it using ropes that have
been set there by your team. |
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As [tatterdemalion] cogitates, //It would also
be perhaps interesting to consider what
constitutes the best path// |
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I would say, for the sake of sustaining the public's
interest, variety is of utmost importance. To that
end, I'd encourage the use of suction pads. And
the use of ropes, either to climb or pull through a
river. |
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I'd say everything is fair game but vehicles. |
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//Can an allowance be made for buildings to be
passed through// |
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Absolutely. If you can go through a building
without deviating from the line, you'd be wise to
do so. Adds an extra level to the aides' role, that
of requesting permission before the Crow arrives. |
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Appreciate the appreciation [Calum], cheers. |
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Nice. Are there penalties for rule breaking traverse? Or, is it more of an exhibition of skill and tenacity, with expected and forgiven mistakes? |
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Well, therein lies the rub, doesn't it? How best to
measure this line. |
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Personally, I'd prefer it without a penalty system;
make it as strict as possible. If something seems
insurmountable, makes it all the more fun to
surmount it. Even to the point at which the team
have to build a bridge or something similar. |
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So, how can you stay within a two-metre circle of
accuracy? Is GPS good enough yet? |
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Not sure of the lateral tolerances for GPS. Would definitely keep you pointed in the right direction though. If the support team orienteers ahead of the crow in managable increments, each leg could be approved by officials, before any wasted effort. |
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So, here's a croissant, even though you didn't know about the Mason-Dixon line!! haha |
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//you didn't know about the Mason-Dixon line// |
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Yeah, sorry about that. I learnt all my American
history from Day of the Tentacle, so its sketchy, at
best; at worst, full of tentacle overlords. |
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// I learnt all my American history from Day of the
Tentacle // |
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By American standards, that makes you vastly over-
educated. |
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// Well, therein lies the rub, doesn't it? How best to measure this line. |
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Stretch a chalk line out to both ends and give it a snap. |
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// How best to measure this line. // |
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Just burn it into the ground (and whatever else it falls
across) with a giant space laser. I can get you a great deal
on one. I know a guy. |
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// words like loogie, obviously// |
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"Hoagie", certainly. It was my first encounter with
such a word. Also, that George Washington had
wooden teeth and used to compulsively cut down
apricot trees
if someone had painted the fruits red. You built
your civilization on the ramblings of this mad
man?! |
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Anyway, although I like the //giant laser//
scorched Earth solution, I think this event
requires a softer touch to get everyone whose
property falls on the line to cooperate. Lasers
though, they might be useful. Could a team
create a relay of lasers, each pointing in the same
direction, for the Crow to follow? |
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Super high-energy industrial cutting lasers could be used to carve out a perfectly straight path (through rock, buildings, unfortunate bystanders etc) which would certainly make life easier, except for those employed in the legal department. |
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It wouldn't have to cut _through_ anything, just singe the
top mm or two. It would leave a nice black line over every
topographical feature, and the Crow's precision could be
determined by the footprints he or she leaves in the
cinders. |
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(I wanted to see if someone had ported Day of the
Tentacle to an online game and found someone
on
www.2dgames.eu with less of a grasp than me of
American history: |
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"I AM BENARD AND I AM LAVIGNE AND I AM YUGI
PAINT THE FRUIT ON THE TREE SO THAT THE GUY
WITH THE WHITE HAIR CHOP IT OFF" |
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Ha ha, the man who oversaw the birth of the most
powerful nation on Earth, referred to as "THAT
GUY WITH THE WHITE HAIR") |
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