h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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Armhole mattress
Hold your partner at night without suffering arm-ache the next day | |
Your girlfriend wants you to hold her in her sleep. One arm fits comfortably around her body (unless she is Bella Emberg). The other arm is either squashed up against her back uncomfortably, placed under her body/neck and cutting off the blood supply to your hand, or held in front of your face.
The
armhole mattress would provide a strategically placed tunnel for you to put your arm in without you having to suffer pins-and-needles/cramp/pain/no sleep.
I had the option of posting this or "Less Demanding Girlfriend". Please advise me if I have made the right choice.
In the middle
http://www.prisoner...mages/musical_4.jpg
is this Bella Emberg? [thumbwax, Jan 21 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]
Electromagnet mattress
http://www.halfbake...romagnet_20Mattress
[hippo, Jan 21 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]
XKCD cartoon
http://xkcd.com/335/
[hippo, Oct 29 2007]
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You made the right choice. |
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In my equal opportunities bedroom, it so happens that my boyfriend is the one that wants to be held in his sleep. So I have the same bed geometry problem as you. I find that if your both facing the same way lying on your side but sort of on your front helps. you end up resting slightly on top of your partner, and your underneath spare arm can be flailed out behind you. Of course, this works for me becuase I am lighter than him. your girlfriend may not appreciate this much unless she is Bella Emberg (who? I assume a large lady) Does this all count as consumer advice? I'm not sure whether this is halfbaking the idea. |
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Thanks for the suggestion Sappho. I have tried that and it works a little bit, but I think the modified mattress would be the best way forward for me. |
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Hmmm.... Bella Emberg.... wasn't she the hilariously fat lady out of the Russ Abbot show? Or was it the Dustin Gee programme? Ahhh, so many lame comedy shows, so little time...... |
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What, you mean you don't make her sleep on the couch?!?! |
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The <shameless plug>Electromagnet mattress (see link)</shameless plug> would allow you to specify the precise dimensions of the 'dent' needed to fit your arm in, as every 'spring' is individually addressable. |
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Get a waterbed. You can play somnambulant twister and never lose circulation. Going on 20 years now with nary a case of pins and needles. |
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I can envision a mattress made up of a series of folds that run the width of the mattress. Setting your arm in or along a fold underneath your bedmate would alleviate the loss of blood flow. It'd make for a lumpy mattress though. |
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I really like this idea. What I usually end up doing is putting my arm under her pillow, which works ok...but due to being hit by a car long ago, I have a bad shoulder and need to turn over sometimes, so I end up waking her up... |
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phoenix - I like your idea. Have you noticed that if you lie on a couch, and someone sits down on it, you can tuck your legs between the back and seat of the couch? (at least on most couches I've lounged upon). I picture your suggestion to be kind of like that. |
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Since I've slept around quite a bit, I should be an expert on this. I think that most of us would be more comfortable on a non-flat bed. I don't mean those electronic fold-up beds they sell on TV, either. No, what we need is beds that have some lumpy protuberances about, or are adjustably bumpy. Replace the bed with a big box full of small rounded pillows, dig yourself in. Then you can tunnel an appendage under your bedmate(s), or find someplace to stick your parts. |
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gus2: You've been in bed for 20 years? |
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[quarterbaker] That's essentially what I had in mind. Running - from left to right - every 8 to 12". Make it in a scalloped, repeating 'S' shape (as seen on edge) and you'll get a little extra support. I still think it might be a little too lumpy to sleep on, though. Maybe make it out of a squishy foam. |
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You'll need loose sheets to take advantage of it - and you'll be forever losing things in the folds. |
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Customer: "Do you have extra lumpy sheets?"
Clerk: "I got yer extra lumpy sheet right here lady" |
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There's nothing to say to that except thank you. Of course, if you want to go further you can call my girlfriend and let her know how lucky she is. Thank you again for the compliment Blissmiss. |
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It's possible to accomplish this by positioning the 'down' arm below the neck of the person being held. This has the advantage of placing your head above hers (replace with suitable pronoun of your choice), in such a manner as to allow your-face-to-her-hair contact (which is a selling point for me). |
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It might not work if you have Schwarzeneggar arms, though. |
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Why yes sirrobin, why do you ask? |
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Bed hijinks to 'get in the mood': Put a hairbrush down there where your naked feet go, down there under the covers near the foot of the bed, on your partner's side. |
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What could be lurking down there in that armhole, where you can't see. Dust bunnies? Spiders? Evil clowns? The ones that want to grab your feet when you step out of bed.... |
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My late wife and I used to have the 'third arm' problem, but used an approach like sappho suggested. Worked pretty well. She was a bit larger than me, so perhaps that helped. |
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I just posted this same idea! I took it down because you had already done so. I completely agree with the idea of beds with more interesting landscapes. |
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Would it not be simpler to have a shaped pillow that could be used with a standard mattress? |
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The deluxe version could have a little pump so you can adjust the pressure either when you want the reassuring weight of your partners head on your arm, or want to slide your arm out. |
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- "Did you just fart, [marklar]?"
- "No darling, I was letting the air out of this pillow..." |
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So does the XKCD guy troll this website to get ideas? |
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(using troll in the original sense) |
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Just visited that site, and had the sensation that my interests on the internet are too closely linked together. |
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[hippo] Do you sleep next to a duckling? |
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