Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Aqua Pope

amphibious pontiff
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It looks exactly like the Pope, dressed in flowing robes, pointy hat and staff and has a 200 horse power onboard motor.

Remote controlled, with GPS and directional cameras, Aqua Pope moves mostly deep beneath the sea on its way to any designated location.

Once at wading height on a crowded beach, balloons inflate at his feet area, changing his horizontal travelling position to vertical.

Pneumatic pumps within the armpits raise his hands high in the air and a pre recorded sermon is broadcast to the stunned beachgoers through a loudspeaker in the head area.

Once the sermon is finished, the balloons deflate him back to a horizontal position, and the propellors whisk him away underwater to another beach to repeat the service.

benfrost, Feb 12 2005

Sea bishop http://www.call-of-...ages/sea_bishop.gif
Similar? [nineteenthly, Feb 12 2005]

The Official Site of the Holy Sea http://www.vatican.va/
(Sorry, that should be 'Holy See'.) [angel, Feb 14 2005]

St Peter- depiction from 14th century http://www.getty.ed...objects/oz2024.html
It's been going on for some time... [ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 14 2005]

Robo Pope RoboPope
Who would win in a fight? [jaksplat, Feb 14 2005]

Hermetically Sealed Pope http://news.icanhas...i-church-officials/
Possibly amphibious? [csea, Oct 24 2010]

[link]






       ...also comes in President Bush guise, delivering sermons to evil children playing on beaches watched by their evil parents in evil countries... the Aqua Dope.
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 12 2005
  

       Just saw Spongebob Squarepants: The Movie. I nominate David Hasselhoff for Aqua Pope.
jaksplat, Feb 12 2005
  

       As Aqua Pope slips out of the bay, Aqua Ganesh darts out from the cave in which he has been hiding and appears to the multitude. Having four hands, an elephant's head and a load of sticky pudding for the kids, Aqua Ganesh is easily able to upstage Aqua Pope and soon the bathers have ditched christianity for something flashier.
wagster, Feb 13 2005
  

       <balloons inflate at his feet area> - wouldn't this mean that he would emerge from the ocean standing on his head? I think this might give the wrong impression - sort of taking the piss out of the whole walking-on-water trick.
Basepair, Feb 13 2005
  

       God and football are _not_ the same, and you're come dangerously close to mingling the two. Seek atonement, heathen.
reensure, Feb 13 2005
  

       I do not eat hats.   

       I forsee Godzilla and Aqua Pope doing battle in many Japanese films. Godzilla attempts to squash the Vatican, Aqua Pope appoints dolphins and killer whales as cardinals to help him do battle...
MrDaliLlama, Feb 14 2005
  

       To quote a Popehead, one of the many fans who follow Aqua Pope from beach to beach: "His sermon is different every time I hear it."
robinism, Feb 14 2005
  

       //God and football are _not_ the same//   

       JP2 used to be a goal keeper. Wonder who's side of the argument he's on? hmmm...
etherman, Feb 14 2005
  

       Sitting on a park bench
eyeing little girls with bad intent.
Snot running down his nose
greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.
-Jethro Tull
contracts, Feb 14 2005
  

       After their battle, scientists rebuild them as one, to fight marauding pirates, set on discovering buried tumbleweeds.   

       Aqua Popezilla is born, and few live to tell the tale of his fiery inflatable communion.
benfrost, Feb 14 2005
  

       sermon excerpt .." my spaceship is full of eels"
dentworth, Feb 14 2005
  

       //My hat is food for the llamas.// [UnaBubba] From whence came this sentence?   

       It is stuck on me now.
Zimmy, Feb 15 2005
  

       Brilliant - I'm not sure how I never came across this one before. I'd also like to balance it out with an evangelical submarine gynaecologist-ayatollah of some sort. One that might live in an underwater sex-mosque perhaps.
zen_tom, Mar 12 2008
  

       It also reminds me of the "Underwater Rabbi Problem" from Reginald Perrin.
nineteenthly, Mar 12 2008
  

       + a [benfrost] delight!
xandram, Oct 21 2010
  

       The best part of this idea is the fact that it would inevitably be covered in things like seaweed and barnacles. Also the fact that the "sermon" is just anything you feel like recording into it, like a call to all worshipers to follow him back down to an underwater robo-utopia.
Joolin, Oct 22 2010
  

       Excellent, +. Reminds me of an episode of 'Old Harry's Game' in which Satan's loyal assistant constructed both a break-dancing 'RoboPope' and also a 'Cybertollah'.
DrBob, Oct 22 2010
  

       Good old Scumspawn ... what would Satan do without him ... ??
8th of 7, Oct 24 2010
  
      
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