Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Expensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.

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Apostrophe Shooter

 Does that sign feel lucky? Does it?
  (+43, -1)(+43, -1)(+43, -1)
(+43, -1) 		  [vote for,
against]

For grammarians, pedants, aggressive spell-checkers and frustrated English teachers everywhere ...

The Apostrophe Shooter is compact enough to fit in a purse or pocket. Its unbreakable plastic casing will not trigger any metal detector. You can now solve the world's multiple language abuses wherever you find them -- from billboards to print ads!

Your Shooter comes with three rotating ink cartridges:

WHITE: "Each widget fits in it's own case" ... POW!

BLACK: "Ladies Room" ... BLAP!

and RED: "Go Charger's, your the best!" ... POW! BLAT! BLAM!

... and a silencer, of course. Adjustable tip regulates the size of your corrective apostrophe, from Micro-Fine (magazine, menu, other text copy) to Mega-Splat (billboards, freeway underpass grafitti). Ink cartridge refills are free.

Now get out there and show that Apple sign who's boss!

—1percent, Oct 26 2001

It would have fun with some of these. http://wesclark.com/ubn/
(Utah Baby Names.) [angel, Oct 26 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

(?) Grammatical vigilantism http://www.timesonl.../article6799621.ece
Mr Gatward could do with one of these. [shudderprose, Aug 22 2009]

San Diego Chargers cheerleaders http://www.nflteamh...s/cheerleaders.html
"...to be a lady at all times..." [normzone, Aug 22 2009]


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Annotation:







       Speaking as a self-confessed pedant... I want one!   

       Would you like jam/jelly with your croissant?
—CoolerKing, Oct 26 2001
   

       Just make sure it doesn't fall into the wrong hands... think of the mayhem captain _ could cause with one of these...
—RobertKidney, Oct 27 2001
   

       Maybe there could be a license exam...   

       But anyway, my croissant's all yours.
—Deity, Oct 27 2001
   

       I want one of those! I may not be great at grammar, but I would certainly have fun with it.
—kaz, Oct 27 2001
   

       Lucy Brown would love this.
—thumbwax, Oct 27 2001
   

       ' so'm'e'body ' ' he'lp me' there's a' man'ia'c on' the lo'os'e!' '
—lsenater, Oct 27 2001
   

       as long as there are "potato's and tomato's" on the menu.
—arora, Oct 27 2001
   

       YES!
—landruc, Dec 23 2002
   

       This could be the singlemost useful invention in the history of the world.
—CheeseFilteredCigarette, Dec 23 2002
   

       this is a spectacular idea. how soon do you think we could get these to market?
—Puresoul, Apr 13 2003
   

       As a typographer, I am irritated daily by people using the foot mark [this typeface doesn't seem to differentiate (and therefore irritates me slightly)] instead of the apostrophe. I'll take two.
—changokun, Feb 21 2004
   

       + for the Clint reference.
—Eugene, Feb 21 2004
   

       Pedants rejoice, the savior in the form of a little apostrophe-shooting widget has come! Long live the apostrophe...how would you insure that the mark was in the shape of an apostrophe? Still, it's a great idea, which is why I voted for it.
—Mighty piffle, Feb 21 2004
   

       I'm gonna give you a fishbone just to be different.
—FunkyMunky, Mar 03 2006
   

       [draws pronunciation pistol] BLAM!   

       [lobs in counterbalance bun] +
—ConsulFlaminicus, Mar 03 2006
   

       It needs its counterpart, the Apostrophe Anihilator, for correcting errant Greengrocer's Apostrophes and other such misdimeanours.
—dbmag9, Oct 21 2006
   

       + Please send one of these to some hb newbies...
—xandram, Jan 19 2008
   

       //correcting errant Greengrocer's Apostrophes//
Dear God, the irony.
—AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jan 19 2008
   

       *Desperately tries to salvage some dignity*   

       Which niftily leads on to my other extension suggestion, the Apostrophe Mover, for correcting my above mistake.
—dbmag9, Jan 20 2008
   

       At least he didn't say "Greengrocers errant." It would have given me the mental image of beaproned balding men wandering the countryside offering parsnips to damsels in distress.
—saxman, Jan 20 2008
   

       These are you'r Apostrophe Shooters test or practice sentence's. Take some printout's of these sentence's and use the bullet's on these test subject's. Repeat till you'r shooting accuracy increase's upto acceptable level's.
—kamathln, Apr 15 2009
   

       I would have to get "two" apostrophe shooter's, one for me and one for my "wife."
—nomocrow, Apr 15 2009
   

       // I would have to get "two" apostrophe shooter's, one for me and one for my "wife."//
That reminds me, is the 'Gallery of Misplaced "Quotation" Marks' still going?
—gnomethang, Apr 17 2009
   

       "ouch"
—blissmiss, Apr 17 2009
   

       & what's with the "wife" all about?   

       oh, sorry [gnome] I was too busy looking at the misplaced apostrophe.   

       I know, I know, I can talk with all my absent capitals...
—po, Aug 22 2009
   

       € What happened to London?
—blissmiss, Aug 22 2009
   


 

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