Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Any-ammo Minigun

Clip it on!
  (+12, -3)(+12, -3)
(+12, -3)
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Are you tired of accumulating odd-sized, random bullets? Do you have to hunt through your collection just to find a handful that will fit in your gun du jour? Worried you might damage your weapon with a bullet that is slightly too large or small? Worry not!

BUNGCO introduces the Any-ammo Minigun. The Minigun looks like a clothespin (it is, in fact, a clothespin), with a small hammer attached to a spring. Just reach into your bullet bowl and clip one into the Minigun. Make it a big one! Then pull back the hammer and let go. It will whack into the back of the bullet and BLAM - Bye bye random bullet! Hello hole in something!

Now when you find a bullet on the ground, or buy a bag of them from a soldier home on vacation, you know you will be able to make it go. The Minigun costs only $20 for a pack of 30, and for a minimal surcharge, BUNGCO will print them with the name of your military organization or shooting club. Order yours today!

bungston, Mar 08 2006

I'd never heard of a zip gun http://www.phrack.org/show.php?p=2&a=3
"You should not attempt to register such a gun" [coprocephalous, Mar 08 2006]

[link]






       Because of your fine suggestion, [21], we have set about making a gatling gun of sorts by affixing an entire 30-pack of Miniguns in a line, using the lacquered penis bone of a walrus as a support. We predict that when loaded, one will be able to fire all the clipped bullets in rapid succession by running one's hand along the length of the penis bone and tripping of all triggers in succession. Of course, the bone must be pointed at a right angle to the target, which is unfortunate.
bungston, Mar 08 2006
  

       How would you get any accuracy out of this? [-]
the fiddler, Mar 08 2006
  

       [-] For being a not funny shit take.
FunkyMunky, Mar 08 2006
  

       So it's a zip gun [bungston]?   

       A zip gun would be considerably safer and more accurate in comparison, [2fries]. But I'm impressed that you can purchase the Miniguns in bulk and have them private labeled.
jurist, Mar 08 2006
  

       [rcarty] - where can I get one of those? Got a small problem with foxes (we have chickens) which this could sort out. And probably remove some of the trees in the garden too!
Texbinder, Mar 08 2006
  

       //For being a not funny shit take// How is this anything like a mushroom?
coprocephalous, Mar 08 2006
  

       Reminds me of playing some sort of table top war game years ago. One of the countries had an incredibly cheap, incredibly bad infantry unit. We talked about them being a bunch of guys with one bullet and a rock. The upgraded unit got a pair of pliers and a hammer.
Galbinus_Caeli, Mar 08 2006
  

       I very much disagree [FunkyMunky]. \\Bye bye random bullet! Hello hole in something!\\ Thanks for the laugh [bungston]. [+]
hidden truths, Mar 08 2006
  

       //Now when you find a bullet on the ground//   

       happens all the time around my parts.   

       As [hidden truths] says "Thanks for the laugh" . "ere ya go see if you can fire orf this ere pastry".
skinflaps, Mar 08 2006
  

       I had hoped for at least something revolving, if not semi-auto. [bungston], I'm holding my vote for the upgrade kit.
normzone, Mar 08 2006
  

       Any ammo minigun? But what about buckets of rusty old metal pieces? Rotten fruit? Small children? It can't fire any of them can it!
DrBob, Mar 09 2006
  

       Surely the shell casing will simply explode, not being constrained by the sturdy receiver it was designed to fit into? Especially plastic (!) shotgun shells?
GutPunchLullabies, Mar 09 2006
  

       //Surely the shell casing will simply explode// - It's all good.
wagster, Mar 09 2006
  

       [fiddler] //How would you get any accuracy out of this?// Easy. Mount two small spheres at one end of the penis bone, one each side. When these two balls are lined up with the target, the penis bone will be at right angles as required, and you can start the stroking action as described.   

       //shell casing will simply explode// When mythbusters fired a .22 bullet in a fuse holder the shell didn't explode. Of course the shell will fly back faster than the bullet flies forwards, but like [wagster] says...
spidermother, Mar 09 2006
  
      
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