Antipale deceased rotating service

The reason those that have been deceased for a substantial amount of time appear pale is because after the blood has stopped pumping, it settles at the bottom of the corpse. If you are the type that likes the idea of your loved ones seeing your corpse before it is buried at your funeral, you might worry that this paleness would put them off their deathday cake. This is, of course, unacceptable and completely unnecessary. All your body requires to keep you from going pale between your death and your funeral is a little turning-picture a cool room in your local "ADR" facility, with deceased bodies mounted horizontally along the walls, rotating along their axis, just fast enough to keep your skin pink, without making it fall off your bones. When the time comes for your friends and family to say goodbye, you are moved from your place on the rack into a specially designed hearse that keeps you spinning until you arrive at the graveyard. Just before you exit the hearse, it does a few turns at high speed, in case you aren't already looking as spiffy as possible, you are then taken to see your family, they say their last goodbyes, and you get buried.

Your friends and family are then greeted with deathday cake as per your will, and they are able to enjoy it fully, without any gut-churning images of your pale, clammy skin detracting from their cake experience.