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It is a fundamental truth, oft-acknowledged, that the ultimate cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
This poses a problem for mariners, as trees are not generally available on board boats. Various other methods have been attempted (my own preferred method, for the record, is nibbling a ginger
biscuit) - however, nobody has ever doubted the efficacy of simply sitting under a tree.
Let us, therefore, make hats which incorporate small bonsai trees. Sailors everywhere will then be able to remain under a tree while they go about their sailor-y business, thus curing them of sea-sickness. They could also be used as badges of rank - able-seamen would get a small cotoneaster, 2nd Mates get flowering cherries, and Cap'ns get gnarly old oaks.
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Annotation:
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arrrrrgh! yer@#$%tree poked me good eye matey. |
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just for silliness I'll give you a salty bun. |
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Pirate hats appear to me to be ideally suited to the task of carrying bonsai trees. Captain Jack Sparrow would have looked so much better with a little Acer Palmatum peeking out through the dreadlocks. |
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Garr! And polly got a place te perch upon the high seas! Garr, garr, and thrice again garr! |
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If fruit trees were allowed then this would quickly lead to "Can I squeeze your plums, sailor?", etc., etc. |
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original do-able ridiculous[+] |
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Yes, I like this but it will need extensive trials. I fear that the salty spray might do damage to more delicate species. [+]. |
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It also gives a conveniently shady place to sit - anywhere - while you drop a line over the side to drown worms. |
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but is it all true? does the swaying of the boughs equate with the sickening sway of the horizon. |
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The Last of the Maltesers? Wasn't that by
James Fenimore Cadbury? |
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+ I'll take a mini rose bush. |
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