h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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Performance athletes like bike racers want to have high hemoglobin, and consequently high oxygen carrying / delivery capacity. But what if your God-given physiology or vegan diet preclude that high hemoglobin? Athletes are motivated to take drugs or give themselves transfusions to push that hemoglobin
up. These things are increasingly frowned upon.
Here at BUNGCO we have found that sleep apnea and loud, glutinous snoring is associated with a high hemoglobin. Probably the periodic suffocation and anoxia is what does it. Unfortunately for them, athletes usually have neither the obesity nor the drunkenness which are reliable snore producers.
Introducing Anti-CPAP. Just as CPAP produces a flow of air to overcome airway resistance in snorers, Anti-CPAP cuts off the air to the sleeping athlete, reproducing the hypoxia they would experience with a good wet snore. Hemoglobin rises in an all natural way and everyone is happy.
BUNGCO's Anti-CPAP device can be tuned to produce the snore most appropriate for your needs and aesthetic sensibility.
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Annotation:
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Well, at least it's not in other: [gen
oh, wait
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Simply reducing the oxygen content of the ambient air would
work just as well. During the day, athletes could wear a full-flow
mask supplying an oxygen-depleted mix. |
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That is already done. Endurance athletes who used
to train at high altitude can now train and sleep in
reduced-oxygen atmospheres for that very reason. |
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In a similar vain, Pontypool RFC used to do endurance
training in the deepest chamber of a disused slate
mine near Aberdyfi because, in the absence of
ventilation, the air was only about 15% oxygen. |
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// That is already done. // |
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We know. That is why we pointed it out. |
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Ah. In English, we use "would" and "could" to
indicate possibilities. Top tip. |
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In the context stated, "would" and "could" are designated 'second conditional perfect' in the subordinate clause, and are therefore amenable to both interpretations. |
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We just thought you would (might, could, should) like to know that. |
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... in which case you deserve no sympathy whatsoever. |
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[8th], the allopectic style of inferior conjugation has
not been given serious credit by serious grammarians
for over fifty years. And the second conditional
perfect has been debunked more times than I've had
hot flushes. |
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Fine, have it your own way, but they're still valid constructions, even if archaic. Let us know when you're going to light your bonfire of all those copies of Shakespeare's works .... |
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// they're still valid constructions// so are reflexive
metachiesis and prosodic dystones, but try using
those at the job centre. |
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'Tis true, indeed .... even the once-proud Gerundive is teetering on the brink of extinction. |
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