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If you want to protect your garden from rabbits, all you have to do are two
things: Eat meat, and urinate around the edges of the garden. Animal noses
are sensitive enough to detect that a meat-eater did the pee-ing, and rabbits
are wary enough to use that information to stay away from the garden.
They
instinctively know that they are the kind of meat that might get eaten, after all!
Ever since I first read about the preceding, years and years ago, I've
wondered what other meat-eating animals think about such a "pee barrier".
Will they take it as, "Oh, boy, a challenge!"?
However, this Idea assumes that if the pee contains the "right" ingredient,
then even wolves will not want to mess with whatever critter marked that
territory.
For starters, I will suppose that a concentrated form of urine might suffice.
So, what you do is keep eating meat, and accumulate your pee in a freezer
bag. At intervals you process the accumulation in a vacuum system to draw
off perhaps two-thirds the water, and store the condensed urine in the freezer
separately.
When you have enough, you let it melt and fill your high-pressure water gun
with it. Use that to mark your territory.
If you are daring, you might take your gun with you into the woods, seeking
some wolves. When they find you, you can learn all about how they respond
to having their faces sprayed from long range, eyes and noses especially!
If concentrated urine isn't effective, then some research is obviously needed,
to find the right additive that will make those wolves run away as fast as they
can, with their tails between their legs.
Ideally, you want this to work against all predators, including lions, tigers,
bears, wolverines, ....
Urea Heap
http://www.uriah-heep.com/newa/index.php
product produced in a factory processesing nuts [4whom, May 02 2012]
You're a-peein'
http://wwp.greenwic...union/map/index.htm
[normzone, May 02 2012]
Silent Roar
http://www.silentroaronline.com/
Lovely stuff. [8th of 7, May 02 2012]
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Lumbergh: Ahh, I'm also guano need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too... |
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// I've wondered what other meat-eating animals think
about such a "pee barrier". Will they take it as, "Oh, boy, a
challenge!"? // |
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No, they won't. For many years, I have successfully kept
bears, coyotes, foxes, etc. away from my rabbit hutches
and garbage shed by urinating in a wide perimeter around
my home. It doesn't take much, I go out once or twice a
week and pick a new spot. Not to be gross or anything, but
last summer when I was immobilized after the motorcycle
crash, predators were starting to investigate my rabbits, so
I collected my urine in a jar and The Good Fairy Jenny
went out to distribute it. |
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Besides eating meat and urinating, the fact that the Good Fairy Jenny had to take your piss out to the shrubbery gives me a fair idea where the real testes. |
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Meaning urinating and eating meat might be enough to scare off your herbivores, but a healthy dose of testosterone in your golden shower will help to scare off the bigger fish, so to speak. That brings me to another point. What exactly are they going to do with this Dutch swimmer's body? He must have enough testosterone mimics in his body to kickstart a hefer auction. Maybe we can purchase some of this "gold", in the interests of science. |
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Now you're the one taking the piss. |
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A natural for a green'ish home that sequesters urine... wonder if there's a shelf-life. |
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I think the shelf life of the urine is not important. It is quite long because urine is quite happy to be urine, and it is low pH, so not many things like growing there. More importantly, for chasing away predatory animals, is how long the hormones last in urine before denaturing. I think that is only a few days. I stand to be corrected. |
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// a healthy dose of testosterone // |
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I see what you mean now. I thought it was a rather clever
'who wears the pants' joke. Now that I understand, it
makes the pun even more cleverer. |
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Somebody should tell Norway, Sweden, and Finland to cover themselves up. |
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I wonder if it would still work dehydrated and stored in powdered form? and if so, for how long? |
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// you might take your gun with you into the
woods, seeking some wolves. Whey they find
you, you can learn all about how they
respond to having their faces sprayed from
long range, eyes and noses // |
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Water gun? Long range = 8 - 10 metres. |
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If you're within 10 metres of a wild wolf and
it hasn't high-tailed it out of there, you're in
some serious trouble. You'd better have
something like a M1911 on your hip, and
know how to use it too, or you're not going to
see another sunrise. |
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As a corollary idea, I have often thought there might be a
market for collecting urine from the mega predators in
zoos. (runoff rather than catheters I think). Sprinkling a
little panther piss around the perimeter of your yard might
give the local prowling tomcats second thoughts about
where they roam looking for love. |
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run off is about right...But not a bad idea. I think they were doing it in these here parts, and if they aren't, they should look into it. |
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>collecting urine from the mega predators in zoos. |
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Ok, you can be the one to try inserting the catheter...<hurriedly puts on ear protection to drown out the screaming> |
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But seriously, tried getting some tiger dung out of UK zoos, and not a single reply to any of the letters, I don't know why.. |
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Interestingling, bears are warded off by how high the urine is deposited up the tree's trunk. Well some bears, at least. |
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'Teddy Bears' Big Shit' now copied to my personal archives. |
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Of course, if Vernon were to personally consume the flesh
of all the top predators such as lions, tigers, wolverines,
bears etc., his urine would define him as THE ultra-super-
mega-predator and even a rabid grizzly would think twice
about approaching his garden to nibble on lettuce. There
even might be a mail order business opportunity here. |
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// even a rabid grizzly would think twice // |
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When this postulation is tested, will tickets be sold? |
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If so, we will pay top dollar. |
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// tried getting some tiger dung out of UK zoos, and not a single reply to any of the letters, I don't know why // |
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A while ago, it was possible to buy lion dung in the UK under the brand name "Silent Roar" - very effective for keeping unwanted fauna off the garden, particularly cats. |
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You've probably just been outbid. You have to offer to pay postage and packing, at least. |
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Then again, you could volunteer to go into the enclosure yourself with the tiger and collect the stuff. The staff would probably love to watch that, particularly if it's been a while since feeding time. Received wisdom has it that well -fed tigers aren't aggressive, but do you want to trust your life to what some bloke down the pub told you ? |
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That's one of those places you go to die, right ? |
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Wouldn't it be simpler for [Vernon] to just drink a
litre or so of lion or tiger piss, then redistribute that
around his garden? |
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I thought that too [UB] but figured mentioning it would be 'bad
taste'. |
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I'm pretty sure it would be that. I was at a circus
about 15 years ago, when one of the performing
tigers squatted and pissed all over a section of the
crowd. |
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The smell was truly horrendous. So glad I was well
away from the "beaten zone". |
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// even a rabid grizzly would think twice //
When this postulation is tested, will tickets be sold? |
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<reaches for the ear protection again> |
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// You've probably just been outbid. You have to offer to pay postage and packing, at least.
Look, even I'm not that tight I won't offer to pay postage..I was just wondering if it'd protect the postie carrying it from dogs? |
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I wonder how vegetarians manage pest control.
Or is this just Darwin's way of telling you to eat meat? |
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//I wonder how vegetarians manage pest control// |
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Most pests are quite tasty. |
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It might be that umami corresponds to a scent. If so, MSG is the
additive you seek. |
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// Or is this just Darwin's way of telling you to eat meat? // |
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"Eat up your vegetarians, they're good for you" |
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If testosterone is an appropriate additive, then what I wrote in the main text, about making concentrated urine, might suffice, without actually needing to add that hormone (unless you happen to be female). |
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The main reason I mentioned "freezing" is exactly to deal with unknowns about the shelf-life of the room-temperature stuff. |
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I tried to get a vegetarian pizza for dinner recently,
but they'd run out of them. |
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I think the main problem animals have is that they are made of food. |
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Now if the creator had been really thinking about it, he'd have made them out of silicone or something, they wouldn't have half the problems... |
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The colonists of Janus VI would beg to disagree. |
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You can't provoke a Horta without breaking eggs … |
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You can't collect all of the drug money without
breaking legs. |
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>You can't collect all of the drug money without breaking legs. |
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I had to give that profession up, I could never remember if it was their legs, or mine? I tell you, it's tough being absent minded. |
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That's why so many dealers are millipedes. |
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