Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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Animal Rave

A plan to get animals in a small section of forest to attend a rave.
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First a suitable section of forest would need to be located, around 50m squared, as remote as possible. Once located, cameras (day and night) would be hidden around the area to survey the animals (just whatever local wildlife there is, no animals should be imported to the location). Human interaction with the site should be kept to a minimum so as to help keep the animals unafraid of the location, ideally camoflague should be worn. I think it may be best to install any scaffold needed to support lights and speakers at the start of the experiment/project, so the animals become used to their presence. This leaves the area prepped and ready for stage 2.

Stage 2 involves slowly getting the animals used to the rave. To begin with, there would be a simple offering of food (meats and grain), no sounds and no lights. This would be repeated every night until some of the same animals were observed to be returning to the same spot to get the food each night. I think between two weeks and one month. The next step would be to introduce a blinking light, along with the food, once the animals are unphased by the light, a small speaker is added and a simple very slow metronome type beat begins. These 2 items (light and sound) are then slowly multiplied, amplified and the tempo of the beat rises. The goal of this phase would be to have wild animals return to a spot with loud music and flashing lights every night for free food.

For stage 3 the food would start to be placed out of reach until a certain time. This would mean the animals would have to wait until the music finished for the night before the food was released (via some kind of food release mechanism). Eventually, the animals would begin to worship the rave machine as a kind of god, returning every night to listen to his pounding techno music and await his blessing of food.

Clockwork Monkey, Jul 30 2010

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       What would be used to suppress their predatory, flight, fight and freeze instincts? Neuroleptics of some kind? Designer drugs?
rcarty, Jul 30 2010
  

       Country music. Get them too depressed to fly.
RayfordSteele, Jul 30 2010
  

       add K and E and they'll come back a lot faster and more willingly
Voice, Jul 30 2010
  

       Did you mean..."Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict" ?
normzone, Jul 30 2010
  

       This is a good idea because:
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 30 2010
  

       There's no because. It just is.
wagster, Jul 30 2010
  

       Yeah, what [normzone] said. Baked by the Floyd.
daseva, Jul 30 2010
  

       //This is a good idea because:// Because it's there. [+]
mouseposture, Jul 30 2010
  

       It's like Pavlov with house music instead of bells.
DrWorm, Jul 31 2010
  

       I, uh...   

       Never mind.   

       [Voice] I'd considered adding some drugs into the mix, but I don't think the animals would react very well. You see they wouldn't know what they were taking. If someone slipped me an E without me knowing, I'd be very angry.   

       *Actually, I'd be very happy and dance for an hour or 2, and then be very angry :)   

       [MaxwellBuchanan] It's part art project, part animal psychology experiment. It's not necessarily a good or bad idea.   

       [normzone] [daseva] Well, kind of, but not really, at all.   

       [DrWorm] yes, yes, very similar idea to Pavlovs ideas, only on a much larger scale, and with less purpose.
Clockwork Monkey, Aug 01 2010
  

       Pigs are known to seek out fermented apples
Voice, Aug 01 2010
  

       What would happen if some of these animals' migratory paths took them near trendy nightspots?
shapu, Aug 03 2010
  

       At a guess, they'd take the joint over and then go beserk when they don't get any food after the music stops. Could be interesting.
Clockwork Monkey, Aug 03 2010
  

       oh... [shapu] has pointed out a potential issue with this idea... woodland animals suddenly having a fascination with the sound and sight of nightclubs in the distant towns and cities might lead to... interesting encounters.
James Newton, Aug 03 2010
  
      
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