h a l f b a k e r yFree set of rusty screwdrivers if you order now.
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Case #57724.7 R. Jones vs. F. Bingham.
The plaintiff, one Rover Jones, claims that the defendant, Fido Bingham, has repeatedly tried to encroach upon and take over territory clearly marked by the plaintiff. Mr. Bingham, the defendant, is filing a countersuit concerning the theft of a favorite chew-toy.
Pursuant to the Domestic Animal Urine Territory Act of 1855, the plaintiff claims to have properly marked an adjacent lot to his master's property as his own territory. That lot, hereby desginated by the court as 'The Dirtpile,' had no discernable traces of marking, and since it is known by the court that the lot was formerly a part of the adjacent field before being developed, the plaintiff contends that he is the first to lay claim, enacting in his duties while escaping his master's yard on the night of February 27, 2002.
Sorry, pfeeling pfunny. I'll m-f-d this...
The beginning...
http://www.halfbake...Animal_20Liberation
[RayfordSteele, May 24 2002]
Animals on Trial
http://abc.net.au/a...ram4/factsheet1.htm
Dogs, pigs and other animals were found guilty. A donkey accused of sex with a man was spared after pleas that it was not a willing partner in the act. [pottedstu, May 24 2002]
[link]
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Can I croissant the m-f-d part? <g> |
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It's really that bad, huh? |
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It did remind me, for some reason, of a joke where a dog changed the spelling of his name to phydeaux. Maybe that was [beauxeault]'s dog. |
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Baked. Pigs were put on trial in the Middle Ages. |
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I live in the general vicinity of tiny Erwin, Tennessee. As small as it is, it's famous (i.e., was the question to a Jeopardy answer once) for having hanged a rogue elephant in the early 20th century. Mary was a circus elephant who attacked (and killed?) her trainer while the circus was visiting nearby Kingsport. Her offense was deemed a capital one, and the local turkey and deer hunters evidently had no elephant guns in their arsenals. Nearby Erwin was the headquarters of a railroad company, so they had a crane that could lift exceptionally heaby loads. That's why Erwin was chosen as the site for the only elephant hanging I've ever heard of. |
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If you're of a mind to, you can enjoy the joke about how the deluded executioners thought they would teach rogue elephants a lesson once and for all. But really, it's a pretty sad story. |
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They hanged a monkey in Hartlepool, England, for spying, but they thought it was a Frenchman. |
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However, I acknowledge that animals have seldom if ever been sued by other animals, as opposed to humans taking animals to court, so the idea's original in that respect. |
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But how do you keep the jury from sniffing each other's asses to the detriment of justice? |
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Three salmon were convicted of the regicide of George III in 1820 in Cornerbrook, Newfoundland, and sentenced to be hanged by the neck until dead, but the sentence was commuted by the Governor-General. |
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