Animal Fit test

The few times I've approached a monkey wild or tamed, I've been subject to alpha male behaviour of extraordinary strength. It is difficult to describe here, although there are probably obscure German films about it.

The idea here is a metric to define your place in the zoologic hierarchy. Every male of child bearing years will be placed, naked for the sake of equality, in close proximity to one of every species of animal for a reasonably frightening length of time. This would include every conceivable type of monkey, naturally.

The subject's skin will be monitored for stress responses and tallied in a large alpha-beta matrix. Are ostriches and alligators one weapon away from taking over the world?