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Anal hygiene grommet

 Toilet paper and bidets a thing of the past
  (+3, -2)
(+3, -2) 		  [vote for,
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A microfilm grommet fitted just inside the rectum coated with hydrophobic metamaterial, designed to allow faeces to pass through without requiring toilet paper or a bidet, except in cases of explosive diarrhoea.

Possibly disposable after a few uses.

—Adze, Aug 25 2022

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       How does this stay in place?
—pertinax, Aug 25 2022
   

       With great deficately.   

       Is this a doctor-inserted device?
—whatrock, Aug 26 2022
   

       Not by me.
—doctorremulac3, Aug 26 2022
   

       Oddly there is a Science: Health: Defecation category.
—whatrock, Aug 26 2022
   

       I'll take two
—pocmloc, Aug 26 2022
   

       Sounds like one of those bovine digestive gas ports, except in the wrong place and no cow
—mailtosalonga, Aug 26 2022
   

       I'm awarding eleventeen points to [2 fries].
—calum, Aug 26 2022
   

       And six points to Adze for making me imagine Peter Sallis gently exclaiming the idea title.
—calum, Aug 26 2022
   

       Can it also keep cheese fresh?
—mylodon, Aug 26 2022
   

       // I'll take two//   

       I'm not asking, I'm not asking, I'm not asking, I'm not asking
—Voice, Aug 29 2022
   

       That's what 'they' said...   

       "Not by me" had me literally laughing out loud, brother. Awesome!
—21 Quest, Aug 29 2022
   

       After being away from this site for 15 years I'm amazed to see some familiar names in the annotations. :)
—Adze, Aug 29 2022
   

       Can it have an optional mechanical iris aperture? If so I'll take a six pack.
—tatterdemalion, Aug 30 2022
   


 

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