Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Aloneitaire

 tragic card game
 
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Who loves you? Nobody. That’s why you are in the bar alone playing cards with just you. You could play solitaire, but the angst is too great. That’s why you can smile softly and take out a slim jet-black deck of aloneitaire cards.

The cards are matte-black on both sides with the markings printed in shiny black ink, they are flame retardant so the cigarette that hangs in your hand can’t cause any trouble like last time—when you shuffle them the friction of the cards causes a few sparks. They are slightly longer and a touch more narrow than normal cards.

Suddenly your quiet game of suffering is a thing of tragic beauty.

coming soon: allaloneitaire

—futurebird, Jan 07 2003

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       Someone would surely strike up a conversation, intrigued by your uncommon pack.
—Ludwig, Jan 07 2003
   

       This //is a thing of tragic beauty.//
—FarmerJohn, Jan 07 2003
   

       Quiet suffering is an artform that requires much practice.   

       I imagine a dimly lit bedroom and an old anglepoise lamp with a flickering bulb on an old desk. Cigarette stubs litter the chipped linoleum tiles at your feet. The silence is broken by the chirping of an early morning bird in the day's first light. It's the 27th unsuccessful hand and you notice for the first time there's a card is missing.   

       Damn that black-on-black printing!   

       You've always got friends at HB, 24/7, if the pack's no companion.
—FloridaManatee, Jan 07 2003
   

       except weekends.
—po, Jan 07 2003
   

       24/5, then.
—egbert, Jan 07 2003
   

       Croissant, but sp: matte.
—snarfyguy, Jan 07 2003
   

       Have you tried Prozac?
—DrCurry, Jan 07 2003
   

       I am (infact) thinking of taking it since the shrink says I'm a "classic" depressive... sheesh, I can't even be depressed in an original way.
—futurebird, Jan 07 2003
   

       I read about that-- I a bit nervous about it to tell the truth...
—futurebird, Jan 07 2003
   

       Sheesh, skip the Prozac - if anything is likely to get you over depression, I would say that "wild and prolonged sex" has to be it.
—DrCurry, Jan 07 2003
   

       Well what my reading has shown is that differnt people do well on differnt things and no one knows why... eeep maybe I'll stick to playing cards...
—futurebird, Jan 07 2003
   

       Given that it's a bright sunny day outside, I would also suggest going for a walk. (Though it's a little cold, so you might want to save the wild and prolonged sex bit for when you get home.)
—DrCurry, Jan 07 2003
   

       How about cards printed with lampblack that gets all over you and everything else as you play? Call it soilataire. Tragic in a different way.
—bristolz, Jan 07 2003
   

       Sounds more like gothitaire. The cards should have gloomy phrases on them that you can rearrange to create arty poetry when you tire of just playing solitaire. Deluxe editions allow you to download tragic songs, powered by turning over cards; popular choices remain something by the Smiths, dreadful gloomy Wagnerian passages, or my current favorite, "If you" by Blasco Ballroom.   

       Don't worry about the apathy about sex part of Prozac: sometimes it has exactly the opposite effect! Even more likely though is the sudden weight loss, followed by radical weight gain. Bah. Keep an eye on yourself, though, and don't completely trust the prescribing physician to notice any changes or side-effects you may go through. Lack of sleep and sudden fits of short temper are also often reported, but this can be had cheaper with caffeine!   

       futurebird, remember, you've come up with a lovely, provocative images: what better way of demonstrating that life is *good*.
—meowhous, Jan 07 2003
   

       There are some extremely perceptive, unusually caring people in this world who can provide and, in fact, are themselves uniquely effective cures for occasional depression. Unless you're suffering from clinical depression, skip the drugs. Find a friend. They might even find you. They pop up in the most unexpected places. They do just the right thing at just the right time. If any such friends happen to be reading this forum, I humbly thank you.   

       I like the cards. Croissant for the design.
—half, Jan 07 2003
   

       I want a set.
—kaz, Jan 07 2003
   

       Croiss fb. Hope you feel better soon. Flowers may bring a smile.
—madradish, Jan 08 2003
   

       Saw your website. Lovely; gorgeous use of color. If the website's anything to go by, this idea's not your style...   

       Winter can be boring, but NY's such a vibrant place. Plenty to do, people to see, libraries big enough to lose yourself in.   

       Many of us go through depression, especially in times of change. Exceptions are rare. You are at least fully in tune with the masses. Write something beautifully dark; let despair be your inspiration.
—FloridaManatee, Jan 08 2003
   

       Hear hear
—Ludwig, Jan 10 2003
   

       [Crumbs], welcome to the UK. Its unique weather patterns somehow contrive to be wet, cold & windy even on bright, sunny days.
—egbert, Jan 11 2003
   


 

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