h a l f b a k e r yA few slices short of a loaf.
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The expense of putting a smart speaker in every room to provide access to Alexa whenever and wherever required is considerable.
BorgCo have therefore developed the Alexarachnid. This consists of a large tarantula-like animatronic spider, with a hollow in the top of its abdomen - complete with power
connection- to carry one of those puck-sized smart speakers.
Its task is to scuttle along after its designated human, like a sort of tiny, insectile, slightly less malevolent Luggage, always staying within earshot, and thus ready to hear and respond to voice commands.
There is sufficient onboard intelligence for it to recognise and exploit electrical outlets, so it can "feed" by climbing up a wall and inserting its mandibles into the sockets. Thus, no special charging dock is needed, athough the device is supplied with a tent-like "web" where it lurks when there are no designated humans around.
Specifically designed to cause those with a spider phobia to freak out, and to act as powerful aversion therapy* to those overly-reliant, indeed obsessed, with voice assistants.
*Unfortunately, it seems the Ludovico Technique is no longer funded by the vast majority of HMOs.
Roomba Roach
Roomba_20Roach
Prior Art; the inspiration for this idea. [8th of 7, Dec 07 2020]
"I Always Do What Teddy Says"
https://openpublish...-do-what-teddy-says
Prior Art [8th of 7, Jan 02 2021]
Inside Adam Savage's Cave: Awesome Robot Spider!
https://www.youtube...watch?v=-vVblGlIMgw
[Voice, Apr 05 2021]
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Annotation:
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Put it on the floor and stand back as Roomba Roach
munches it up, then sucks away all the bits. |
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Actually, we envisage Roomba Roach in a sort of symbiotc, co-operative arrangement with Alexarachnid. |
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// perhaps a face-hugger? // |
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Oh, don't think THAT idea hasn't been thought of several times... |
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Dune 2020, virtual assistant in virtual reality style: "Ok Glass,
target the spider in the corner." |
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(loud panicked scream)
"I'm sorry, I couldn't understand that. Could you please
repeat the question?" while it turns and approaches in a
menacing way...
Actually (now that I think about it...), a "scream response"
for smart speakers would be a fun (heh...) sub-routine to
install. If it hears a scream, the house lights and computer
screens flicker, the doors all lock, all speakers in the house
emit a low rumble, etc... |
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Only if it has slavering jaws, a creepy scuttle, and highly variable speed. |
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// slavering jaws, a creepy scuttle, and highly variable speed // |
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Of course it does; and glowing red eyes. But they only glow dimly, and dependent on ambient illumination, so you're never quite sure if they're glowing or not or it's just a trick of the light - until they move, at night. |
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It can move with vegetable slowness, delicately waving one leg at a time, suddenly transform into a terrifyingly fast run, and then freeze into total immobility. |
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It doesn't slaver as such, but it could perhaps have a way of making glistening drops of venom appear on its fangs. |
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And even more sinister ... <link> |
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take a bun for the title. + |
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I like spiders and I don’t like voice activated
nonsense. |
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Maybe an AI can calculate/compute the right spoken pattern, at a surface, that will produce the right vibrations. Talk to the arachnids. The fly is caught to the far left, no, now to the right... |
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