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Alarm Cock

 Start the day the sexually stimulated way
  (+10, -9)
(+10, -9) 		  [vote for,
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At a glance this would appear to be a vibrator on a timer, but with a few tweaks in the right place I believe that iIhave created every single/frustrated/very busy woman's early morning dream. Simple insert the,..well... flacid cock into the vagina when you got to bed at night and set the remote control to the appropriate time (about half an hour to 15 minutes before you wish to get up). Having slept the night through you will be slowly or abruptily awoken (the choice is yours) by the hardening and slowly increasing vibrations of the alarm cock. Many other options could be included as on any regular vibrator. So start the day off on a punctual and regular sexual high. This could also be used in conjunction with a duvet which has a 'massaging' top which stimulates the breasts for heightened sexual awakening.
—Miss Weston Smith, Aug 15 2002

Oral Sex Alarm Clock http://www.halfbake...Sex_20Alarm_20Clock
The converse of this idea. Does this make the idea Baked? In any case it's in the wrong category. [phoenix, Aug 16 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

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       I have been told that being awoken in the morning by a stiff partner is every woman's pet peeve, but not being female, I stand to be corrected by my colleagues. You (like me) should probably stick to things you know about.
—DrCurry, Aug 15 2002
   

       hey, this is my early morning dream! Don't spoil my day.
—Miss Weston Smith, Aug 15 2002
   

       <idontbelieveimsayingthis> I think Miss Weston Smith's been kidnapped. She would never entertain the thought of a woman attempting to insert 'flacid cock' into her vagina. </idontbelieveimsayingthis>
—st3f, Aug 15 2002
   

       twas a strange night at the HB. theres a ghost in the machine, mark my words..
—po, Aug 15 2002
   

       I'm telling you, the ghost is Mr. Pole Pants himself. A lucky typo and he's in..   

       Curry: I'd have to say otherwise..
—Mr Burns, Aug 15 2002
   

       true.. but I don't think she'd mind anyway. All fixed.
—Mr Burns, Aug 16 2002
   

       Fishbone. Pulsating beeps are bad enough. This idea sucks. And blows.   

       I can't think of anything more awesome than being manually stimulated by a piece of plastic at 5 in the morning. Well, maybe the author's name.
—polartomato, Aug 16 2002
   

       I think it is a great idea. I morning romp is always fun. Much better than a beeping alarm clock.   

       However, will Pavlov get in the way and rune sex? Sex = Wake-up - Don't like to wake-up - Therefore don't like sex?
—drwolf12, Aug 16 2002
   

       cast your runes upon the duvet ...
—po, Aug 16 2002
   

       Love among the runes?
—banshee, Aug 16 2002
   

       flaccid fishbone
—thumbwax, Aug 16 2002
   

       I thought this was funny. Why all the fishbones?
—tharsaile, Sep 01 2002
   

       Have you ever seen a fishboner? Whales don't count, BTW
—thumbwax, Sep 01 2002
   

       "Are you happy to see me or is it time to wake up?"
—FarmerJohn, Sep 01 2002
   

       //I thought this was funny. Why all the fishbones?//   

       More people thought this idea was: half-baked, underdone -- (insufficiently cooked) than people thought was funny.   

       I'm not a girl but "ouch" to having something up in ya for hours while sleeping! Doesn't sound very cormfortable. go fish
—Around TUIT, Aug 14 2004
   


 

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