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Probably best to put video cameras in the curtained booth connected to large video displays in the departure lounge, for hilarity. [+]. |
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How about having two gates next to each other? On the right would be a gate the width of an aeroplane seat. On the left would be a double width gate, but you have to hold two adjacent reservations to be permitted through it. |
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I keep reading this as Airplane Sea Trout. |
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Me too - I read it as "Airplane Seat Trout". I envisaged a clear plastic water-filled airplane (or "aeroplane", to be exact) seat with a lone trout swimming around in it. When the flight attendant says "Would you like the steak or the fish?", if you ask for the fish, the flight attendant would unzip a corner of the seat, thrust their arm in, grab the trout and whip it out (the trout, that is - that wasn't intended to be a double entrendre) and flambé it in front of you. |
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[pocmloc], I think you're on to something. It would be like when fighters have to weigh in right before a match - and then the seat width and your ticket price is adjusted at the last minute. |
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Hydraulically controlled adjustable seats are going to add weight though. |
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Since, relatively speaking (and unless you're flying
<shudder> Horus
Air) the seats on the actual airplane are more comfortable
than any seat to be found in the terminal, just use the
airplane seats everywhere. This would have all the benefits
of [ktn]'s original idea, it would make delays and layovers
marginally more comfortable, and it would boost much-
needed revenue for the airplane seat manufacturing
industry. Buns will be served when the aircraft has reached
cruising altitude. |
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Alternatively of course, the airline could simply rent out cabin space by the cubic foot and have a bring-your-own chair policy. |
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Perhaps you could pass through a series of gates that get smaller as you go - when you can no longer fit through the gate a seat of that size is loaded onto the plane for you and you are billed accordingly (accordianly). |
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A bit of a squeeze, then ? |
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// Probably best to put them in a curtained booth, for privacy. |
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Why is privacy needed? They won't have it when they sit on the plane. |
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Anyway. What is the plan if it turns out the flyer-to-be doesn't fit? |
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// They won't have it when they sit on the plane. // |
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// What is the plan if it turns out the flyer-to-be doesn't fit // |
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Well, there are two options. There's the nice option, which involves the passenger paying for a second seat, and the nasty option, which you probably don't want to know about; just to dissuade you from enquiring further, the full description includes the phrases "gas turbine intake", "fuel bowser hose", "duct tape", "no anaesthetic" and "liposuction". |
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This is brilliant. My cousin and I are people who are.. ahem.. "of size" and just for the sake of our own comfort when we fly together, we should be able to buy 3 seats collectively.. which leads me to annotating this idea by suggesting that you can be assigned a "seat buddy" based upon this factor. |
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Like someone fat can sit next to someone very skinny.. and if they are both OK with it after testing this in the tryout seat, then the problem is solved before they even get on the plane. |
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It would also give the fat person a heads-up to avoid embarrassment. When he sees the sign that says, "you must be able to sit in this seat to qualify for a single ticket price" he can visually judge the situation and discreetly buy 2 tickets. |
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This begs for modular seating in airplanes; there are three
different-sized seats, all of which lock into the same
evenly-spaced rails (don't ask me how, a mysterious dearth
of napkins has prevented me from working it out yet), and
before boarding the flight attendants go over the passenger
manifest and perform a tetris-like seat arrangement. |
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Or have bench seats, and the armrest & seat-belt-stanchions slot into a perforated metal bar oooooooooooo , that runs between the butt section and the back section of the bench. [Js] and his cousin could just have one of the armrests removed and the other moved to the middle of the seat. Or an adult and 3 kids could occupy a 3-seater by adding an armrest and shifting the others around. |
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The armrests and seatbelt stanchions on either end of the entire seat are fixed in place. |
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Downside is the backrest couldn't be reclined individually for each passenger. |
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[FyingToaster] - If the backrest was divided into thin strips, each of which could be reclined individually or in conjunction with its neighbours, the reclining problem would be solved. And in your model, passengers would pay for their seat by the inch (or 2.54 centimetres, outside the US). |
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If the armrests had sides to them, that would still fold
away to allow access, when in place the excess fat of these
unfortunate individuals would not be able to spill over into
the space allocated to their fellow passengers |
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Passengers need to be packed by weight, not
by volume (contents may settle during
transit). |
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The bottom line (hem,hem) is that the
limiting factor from an aviation point of view
is the all-up weight of the plane at takeoff. |
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Sure, the accountants would love to cram
more unfortunates into the overhead lockers
and the cargo hold, thus maximising profit,
but it means the plane couldn't fly. |
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Airlines don't weigh passengers (yet), but they
do weigh luggage. The pilot works out the
W&B from tables, based on check-in data on
proportions of males, females, children and
infants. |
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The obvious answer is to stop being coy
about this and start offering air travel based
on weight, because it's not about
discrimination or implied lifestyle criticism or
any other social factor; it's simply about
physics and aerodynamics. Grow up!
Although not too much, or you'll end up
paying more for your air travel… |
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Being that the population of obese people is increasing every day, why not let skinny people fly free? Therefore, if you can fit into this seat which is 12 inches wide, there is no charge. |
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I cannot, and furthermore will not, travel in a seat 12"
wide, even if it's free. |
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seein as it's free, I'll take 2. |
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Fine, but you'll have to sit with a fat person between you. |
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Would that mean travelling half-and-half fare
? |
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