h a l f b a k e r yAlmost as great as sliced bread.
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For the facilitation of near liquid diets this acid hydrolyzed proteinous structure produces a continuous log yule passover the holiday.
Simply consume the packages of foam producing powder that expands and solidifies as the peristalsis of the colon forces it like a subway to the next junction.
In
the future an electrolytic core will be inserted anteriorly and concentrically into the continuously ejected mass that will modulate digestive processes synthetically as a complimentary nervous system.
Bowel Budsters
http://www.cdnf.com/item1709.htm [rcarty, Dec 28 2010]
[link]
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alternatively pass them 'round. |
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Prosthetic poo? Why not just consume regular fiber? |
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// continuous log yule passover // |
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[bungston], did you send him any of your funny mushrooms as a Christmas gift ? If you did, it seems he didn't read the instructions about "consume in moderation". |
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What about this material makes it easier to push with peristaltic contractions than the material in front of it? Do you just want a snytho-turd to impress the chicks? If that's the case I'd try learning some new dance moves or getting a better hair style first. |
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I thought of this when I bought some discounted bags of Bowel Buddy cookies not because of digestive issues but because the cookies are uberhealthful. As the story goes, I ate most of the bags and the idea was born. |
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Myself, I tend to shy away from foods with the word "bowel" in the title but that's me. |
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Dear gods. I assumed that anything called "Bowel Buddy"
must be a spoof until I Googled. |
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I presume this is an American concept, alongside "Smooth
Turd Gravy", "Thrush-be-gone Cranberry Aperitif" and "Happy
Anus High-Fibre Fruitcake" ? |
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I'm trying to understand the marketing strategy myself because these are -ahem- passable cookies and would probably appeal to a larger market. |
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There's nothing particularly special about them but I can understand why they advise rookie poopers to only eat one cookie at first to get accustomed to the fiber. I've had ridiculous diets so I have no problem eating dozens of them. |
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At the checkout, even though I was laughing at the name and the amazing price discount, the cashier blushed in embarassment (there were many bags), and even though I wasn't embarassed at all I blushed out of contagion. I can't remember what I said, but ultimately we both agreed that everything we eat is associated with pooping. |
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"Would you like some Happy Anus High-Fibre Fruitcake?" |
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"No thanks, I don't like messing with my anus's psyche." |
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//there were many bags//
Yeah, but colostomy ain't my bag, baby! |
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//I knew there had to be a rational explanation.// Not sure why you'd make that assumption. |
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Or, how about fake stool suppositories. Then you avoid even more of the digestive tract (which may be part of the reason for the liquid diet...). |
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