h a l f b a k e r yRIFHMAO
(Rolling in flour, halfbaking my ass off)
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encefort you must ear wit your ear, and wit your wit compreend umor, you must bate in a bat with a bat, and wonder were your at's at wen the wens on your ead were were you tougt tey would be. |
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Uhhhhhh, the "h" has huge worth. How shall they have the phrases that happen here without "h"? Therefor shut that hole, Matthew Smith. |
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If any letter should be dropped, it's surely K. |
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But then you wouldn't be able to spell kelvin and um... erm... |
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Nothing personal, Mr. Kidney. |
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I've never seen 'k' or 's' say the sound made by the c's in "church". |
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Ello, I'm Susen Unter and I raise orses on my orse farm....I also give orseback riding lessons and break/train/breed orses. The orsefarm is also my ome were (as opposed to "where") I live. |
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Tis isn't going to work well... "h" is just too important. |
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"Q" is the most likely to get the boot. And rewriting words is as easy as "Kuantas" or "Kueen" or "Kwick". |
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Plus, these "new" words are funny to look at. |
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If you get rid of h, you need to reintroduce thorn and edh (sorry, þorn and eð), as well as č (which MSIE won't display) and š. |
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Wasn't "J" the last character introduced into the English alphabet? Hmm... What of the impact of it's removal today? |
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[The Mil]: I don't think [utta] would be too happy. |
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If we abolish "H", do we abolish the irritating blond git from Steps automatically? That gets a croissant from me. I'll happily volunteer to put the grinning monkey down with a lethal injection. |
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why don't we abolish all letters from the language and just use periods and exclamation marks to denote where the sentences are? then we could just |
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>"c" should be dropped, because it makes sounds already made by "k" and "s". |
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>I've never seen 'k' or 's' say the sound made by the c's in "church". |
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In Indonesian, they've repurposed the letter "c" to BE the "ch" sound. It's the most logical language design decision I know. Of course, you have the luxury of doing stuff like that when you "invent" a language from scratch. |
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....I could 'ave danced all nite...... |
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Apparently this is alphabet "Survivor". I vote to kick off y. She's useless: Apparentlee. U've got mail. Doggee stile. Clearlee a redundant letter. |
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PeterSealy, little you know. Ya cain't say "ain't" without a consarned "T"! |
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Cartoon Swede's would be reduced to declaring... No, wait... That won't work.
And "yutta" sounds sort of disturbing. |
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When in doubt, refer to the master... |
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---------------------------------------- |
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A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling |
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For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. |
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Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. |
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Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. |
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Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld. |
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---------------------------------------- |
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It's just like Esperanto. Only sensible! |
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I like to drop E's quite a bit. |
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why does that not surprise me.
I'd like a P please Bob. |
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I once had an old Commodore PET
computer with an X key that
never worked. Nobody understood
what eks-rays were, and the
spell-checker always changed
seks to sects, but I could
usually eksplain why my tekst
looked funny. |
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Lewisgirl, second door down the hallway on the right. |
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Loads of languages do pretty well without any vowels. Although some have taken to cheating and using diacritics, the wusses. (I'm thinking Arabic, some other semitic tongues, and does Hebrew also?) |
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Surely you mean 'Abolis "H"'? |
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It really annoys me when I hear the yanks say 'Erbs' instead of 'Herbs' |
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I can put up with some of their other strange pronunciations, but this one gets me every time. |
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Doesn't it seem strange to you that this word is borrowed from the French who *did not* pronounce the (h) sound? |
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We'd all sound like cockneys. And that's a fate worse than death by Munchkin. |
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"'ello governer, 'ows about a nice walk in te park den ay? Welcome to te 'alfbakery" |
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[ravenswood] and [UnaBubba] - re: US "Artic" and "Antartic". When you come right down to it, we say something more like "Ardic" and "Anardic." Of course, that contrasts with your "Ahctic" and "Antahtic." |
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Surely someone somewhere speaks English with all the letters, H included. |
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How about me? Also, [smizzou], you used "H" in "abolish". And if your name is Matthew Smith, It'd come out "Mattew Smit" ha-ha-ha... |
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if we used ð, þ, c for CH, and x for SH (like the chinese do) it would work. personally, Id like to bring back ð and þ back into english... check out my argument for it. search Eth and Thorn |
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Do away with 'J' and 'K' and 'Q' while your at it. |
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[smizzou] calls for the removal of a letter, yet uses it in title and tagline settings. Surely in view of same, idea as presented isn't even self consistent. |
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I've never had any use for the letter "a." Let's get rid of that one, too. |
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In fact, why not just do away with all
letters, and be done with it? Ones and
zeros are all we need. C'mon everyone,
ASCII isn't that hard once you get the hang
of it. |
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Any proper language would get civized, and use the 22 consonants and 14 vowels already in existence. |
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[smizzou] You can't get rid of the letter 'H', where would all the helicopters land? |
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[Dub] You can't get rid of 'J' and 'K' what on earth would we call the guy from Jamiroquai? And without 'Q', Bond wouldn't have any gadgets. |
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elp! I'm not te person I once was! |
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"...wen the wens on your ead..."
"wen _te_ wens on your ead", Surley? |
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Souldn't tis be {Abolis ""}? |
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While we're at it, I think Z should be reclassified as a "dwarf letter". Then we'd have a nice even 25 letters in our alphabet. |
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//While we're at it, I think Z should be reclassified as a "dwarf letter".// My brother ack would not be happy about that. |
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Þere are actually far too few letters in þe alphabet we generally use. We should take an œcumenical approach to our writing raðer ðan scyðing þrouз our tongue. We have an encyclopædic gamut of letters which we underuse. Þorn, eð, yoз, æsc and œ are all wonderful letters which simplify English spelling.
I've done it again! The missing letters should look like þrees. |
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Having said that, "h" is sort of like an accent in English much of the time and is used to distinguish between sounds. If yogh, þorn and eð were used, and Anglo-Saxon spelling conventions used "sc" for "sh" and "c" for "ch". Anglo-Saxon helms of fuþorc are therefore known for the lack of wear on their hægl (H) stud. |
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Neu, wi scud ius Ænglosaxon spelling. Þe cwic braun fox giamps eufe þe leisi dog. |
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Ten I wouldn't know wo I was, jomrigaus???? |
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Chat
Hat
Shat
Char
Hoot
etc. |
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The list of words for which this would spell doom is very long. |
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//Wat the ell do we ave it for, anyway?//
To distinguish people of quality from mere oiks.
In Hampshire, Hereford and Herts, Hurricanes hardly ever happen. |
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ilarious! But on an serious note, everybody knows that the red-headed step-children of the alphabet are "e" and "s". Thou shalt not suffer an e or s to live... |
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You'll ruin the alfbakery. Stop it. |
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