h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vedi, fish velocipede
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If you are sitting comfortably,I will begin.
It is a story of two apes, let's call them Ook and Eek. They are working on a terrible outbreak on the banana plantations.
Ook, the diligent one, spots Eek the lazy bugger, only giving half a banana to volunteer ape.
Castigating Eek, Ook gave the
volunteer ape a whole banana....
[link]
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What is the name of the volunteer? |
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This is clearly a allegory. |
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You don't get allegories in banana plantations, they live in rivers and swamps; and they're carnivores, not vegetarians. |
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The unnamed ape is up by 1.5 bananas; successfully playing
Ook and Eek against one another should have him owning
the plantation by week's end. |
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The third ape is not unnamed, we merely have not yet been told what the name of that ape is. |
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Who knew, huh ? Well, we don't pay attention to stuff that happens south of the Manson-Nixon line ... |
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Sorry but the apes wish to be anonymous, remember how China's Linlin's demands for doubling the supply of bamboo went down.. |
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I'm not! I only asked a question which you have so far failed to answer. |
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Do you mean "What is the name humans have given to the volunteer ?" or "What is the name the volunteer calls itself ?" ? |
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Apes can make a wide range of vocalizations and are self-aware*. There's some evidence that some of these vocalizations are related to identity, and recognition between individuals. Since sheep can recognize the bleat of their own lambs, it's not unreasonable that apes could be capable of similar recognition - mother/child would be evolutionarily advantageous. Research is, we understand, continuing. |
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*The genetic differences between some species of higher primates and humans have been shown to be very small. In some cases, the difference is sufficiently small that there is a significant amount of "overlap", meaning that a proportion of hairy, grunting, mouth-breathing hominids with long arms, receding foreheads, pronounced eyebrow ridges and prognathous jaws are actually measurably less intelligent and articulate than, for example, chimpanzees. However, they still integrate acceptably well into society, and indeed receive lavish remuneration and public adulation particularly when their team wins the Stanley Cup ... |
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[8of] knows a LOT about apes. |
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If you ever see him without his faded hand-me-down No. 13
dress outfit, you will understand just how narrow is the gap
between the great apes and humanity. |
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The category is "science: health: immunization". |
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The idea, however, is not for an immunization. The idea is a
trap for half-bakers, who are trying to find coherent meaning
where there isn't any. It's a sort of koan. |
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I shall answer it by making a cheese omelette, then getting on
with some work. |
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...what is the terrible outbreak on the banana plantations? |
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You can't make a cheese omelette without breaking wind. |
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That wasn't me, that was the ape; the one who prefers to
remain anonymous. |
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//what is the terrible outbreak on the banana plantations?// |
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If your banana plantation is full of apes, what you have is a
terrible break-in. Any medical problems the bananas may
have will be irrelevant if the apes just eat them all. |
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Luckily we have the names of two of them, and I'm sure the
security cams, and some Chinese software, will soon identify
the third one for us. |
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The third one is Harry Lime, shirley ? |
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I've not had any sort of banana outbreak or ape outbreak or
such. But I have heard of a hovercraft full of eels, which is
about as sensible as this presumed rant seems to be. |
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//I've not had any sort of banana outbreak or ape outbreak or such. But I have heard of a hovercraft full of eels,// |
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Yes, it's a bit lengthy, but it made me chuckle. |
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Long enough to be a record. |
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But don't buy it; it's scratched. |
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[nmr] has made the ape working stock options' day and he/she/it laughs. The skinny one, without a corner and too focused to care, is pathologically trying to give bananas up. |
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OK lets try a different tack. Does its name begin with the letter A? |
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[8th] genuinely made me laugh. This time with him. |
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