h a l f b a k e r yAlmost as great as sliced bread.
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It is often a pun comes to mind, but there is no
relevant situation at the time.
Library member X has need of a pun, but can't think
of
one. They can use the library to find something
relevant,
and return it when the deed is done.
Example (takes sip of water) <start of pun>" I went
to
Crete for a holiday and to study their culture, but it's
not my
scene
these days" </end of pun>.
[link]
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[8th] already has more than enough puns. For gods' sakes,
let's not encourage him further. |
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All your pun are belong to us. |
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For some reason, the "All your X are belong to us." always
appears to be in a deep Jamaican Reggae accent in my head.
"Ahhhhl your pun are belong to us." |
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Still, maybe the Borg have Jamaican accents. "We arrr de
hegemonizin' swaahrm, booyakasha!" |
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Depends on the species, obviously. 8th hasn't seen
his since 1991, but that doesn't mean they aren't
there. |
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A smelly man who follows word play? |
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Ahhh no. The answer is pungent of course. |
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You can get ointment for that, now ... it's called punguent. |
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We don't want to rub it in, though. |
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What would the filing system be like for puns? I don't think the Dewey decimal systems would work. Is the pun filed under the initiator or the resultant? Or perhaps both, like a language translation dictionary. |
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I would think that really bad puns don't need to be returned to the library. They could be left for dead. |
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Dewey decimal would be fine, despite being created by a
small cartoon duck. |
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Very early example of an equal opportunities program etc. |
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Hmmm ... is there an echo in here ... ? |
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Yes, and you can hear a pin drop. |
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We need an ISO standard pin dropped from a
prescribed height onto a prescribed surface |
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What if someone doctors the results, though ? |
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I think newspapers have some pre-written articles for very
slow news days, so are they prescribed? |
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Only the ones for the Tabloids ... |
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// really bad puns don't need to be returned to the library. They could be left for dead // |
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Certainly not, they should be released back into the wild, where they can join a flock of their feral siblings. Natural selection will result in tougher, more vigourous puns that are better adapted to a harsh environment. |
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//I would think that really bad puns don't need to
be returned to the library. They could be left for
dead// |
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You were so close. The phrase that you needed
was This idea should be shelved. |
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So, MFD un-called-for list? |
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Synchronized vulgarity dozen twerk. |
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//What would the filing system be like for puns?// |
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May I refer you back to the original idea. |
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// .. relevant situation .. // |
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A filing system probably isn't going to be much use for this
sort of retrieval to be honest. |
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So we probably need a database with several "suitable
situation" fields for the search strings to latch onto. |
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// A filing system probably isn't going to be much use // |
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Not for puns; it might work for irony filings, though ... |
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Oh & type slower, you got an e when you wanted a w there,
"eork". |
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They could be stored in a pun net. The gentleman in charge of that would be known as the 'pun gent', of course. |
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We've already been there with that one. |
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I keep reading this idea as "Lending Library Of
Puss" |
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That would have an interesting catalog ... |
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Just be glad it isn't Lending Library Of Pus, which sounds exceedingly unpleasant. |
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Wonders if Capt'n Smith of the Titanic said "Its the tip
of the iceberg". |
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Ah, but that was just his stage name. |
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Never forget, the pun is mightier than the sword; just think of
all the millions killed by Attila the Pun. |
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Attila's punditry is well known to all -- hard to say if he was
more of a pundit or a pundal -- although he raised
more than one eyebrow when he offered to suck Rome to
the bone. |
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