h a l f b a k e r yTrying to contain nuts.
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A Sad & Lonely Child Will Count Your Money is an ATM
featuring a small animatronic figure of a sad and lonely
child. The figure is normally at rest leaning against a
wall beside the machine, totally protected by armoured
glass and cameras of course.
When you insert your card, the resting
child figure
awakens and via the wonders of automata (ie hidden
cams and levers) and begins counting your money note
by note from a large pile before extending it towards the
despensing slot.
To take your money, you must pull it from the grasp of
the extended gripping hand of the Sad & Lonely Child,
which now emits a pair of tiny tears that roll down its
cheeks.
Other animatronic ATM figures are available.There is:
The Overfed Child Surrounded By Empty Junk Food
Wrappers
The Smart Three And A Half Legged Dog Who Can Count
Money With His Stump
The Siamese Tortoise That
Uses Both Heads To Grab Exact Amounts of Money In Its
Mouths
Many more are naturally under development
as are additional ATM ideas.
Similar
https://gfycat.com/oddballskeletalanole
[tatterdemalion, Jan 09 2022]
[link]
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I want the classic "high roller" doing that thing where
you shoot money off of one hand by doing that
slapping thing with the other. Let me see if I can find
a video... |
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What the hell is that called? You have a pile of money
on say your left hand and you slide your right hand
over the pile quickly so the bills fly forward? |
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You do it if you're stupid and just got a bunch of
money and walk into a bar or strip club for instance. |
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cute, but sad. I prefer a gypsy with a magic ball
like the games in an arcade. but you can have the
child count this bun. |
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Completely possible, but there's not as much to
think about when the figure is happy and jolly. |
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you're trying to automate the gypsy business model? |
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The figures should be live actors hired by the bank. |
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Is there a 'Make It Rain!' model, which scatters your bills up
into the air? |
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A vaguely Italian-looking bloke in a suit slips you an un-marked
envelope with your withdrawal. In fact, that would be big enough to
be the whole ATM; "normal" position standing with his hand inside
his jacket. |
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Can I have my payoff from a sleazy looking man in a business suit? He needs darting eyes and a sense of urgency. |
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Excellent idea. I would also be happy if any withdrawal was accompanied by an on-screen animation of a fat businessman in a stove-pipe hat, holding a huge, smoking cigar in one hand & wrestling the cash out of the hands of a small Dickensian orphan child with the other. Then pushing the cash roughly out through the ATM slot. To assist with this small bit of theatre, there should be some sort of device in the ATM that firstly ruffles up the cash before dispensing it and, secondly, pushes the money out through the slot in several untidy heaps. |
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Disheveled poor woman coming to the door with a
baby in one arm putting the money through the slot
saying "Please, it's all I have!"? |
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Maybe the slot can be changed for a nondescript
briefcase that slides out with your bills in a nice
stack of $20's. With a tall, smoking, shadowy figure in a
fedora and dark suit who says nothing but 'You don't need to
count it.' |
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This bun is because I love the title, and the next one is for
you. |
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This third bun is for sad, lonely, slighter older women, of
which I have become. |
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And finally, this last bun is for greatness and the lateness of
the night, |
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which you are welcome to steal from me, with hardly much
of a fight. |
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Well I for one don't want a sad and lonely child to hand me my money... I am the sad and lonely child handing me my money and that sad and lonely child pulled itself up by its own bootstraps and handed itself its own money and it doesn't need reminders of handing over what has rightfully been earned. |
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Perhaps Trudeau or Trump could hand me my money. |
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Or at least what's left of my money once I've earned it... |
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With a digital version you could select the cashier
of choice. |
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//This third bun is for sad, lonely, slighter older
women, of which I have become.// |
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You're a wonderful person, are you interested in
pursuing a partner? If that's too personal I
understand, but they have apps to help you find
people who you might like. If something's making you
feel bad you fight back against it. There's plenty of
lonely people out there that would love to spend
time with you. |
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Blissy.... if you check, you'll find I replied to your
email. |
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Thank you, no I hadn't seen it. And thank you Doctor, but I
fear my slightly older husband might find that troubling. |
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As a child permanently haunted by "The Little Match Girl", I think the girl should burn each bill until every light goes out... |
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Man pointing a gun at you
The tax collector
Drug dealer
Politician
Fast talking used car salesman
Kidnapper |
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Yes... they're kept on the other side of the ATM. A
grinning overweight sweating businessman in a
crumpled beige suit with a gravy stain down its
front reaches out a bloated hand to take your
money. The back of this hand is covered with liver
spots and grey hairs that look like singed pubes. |
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A gaunt, sooty waif draped in moldy burlap wobbles on his one good leg while counting my phat stax, ahhh. Give me a moment while I unlock my breadbox and fetch you a delicious croissant. |
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Welcome back...... hope you start posting ideas again too. |
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[+,-] Maybe a self inflicted, bloodied, chainsaw victim for the cycle of deposits and withdrawals. |
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