h a l f b a k e r yMagical moments of mediocrity.
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This monumental cast-metal sculpture consists of two gigantic figures flanking a central motif.
On one side, Napoleon Bonaparte; on the other, Adolf Hitler. They are portrayed in attitudes of grief, sorrow and despair.
Between them is a huge map of Europe, depicted as on a broken mirror, shattered
into many parts. Off to one side is Britain, picked out in emeralds and surrounded by a sea of silver; a smug golden sun throws its benificent rays upon the Sceptered Isle.
The sculpture is made from the metal recovered by melting down millions of Euro coins.
On the base of the monument in the Attic alphabet is the inscription, "I fear the Greeks, especially when they want loans".
At random intervals, huge concealed loudspeakers play the unmistakeable sounds of the Russians, Americans and Chinese laughing their socks off.
The sculpture would ideally be displayed outside the former premises of the European Central Bank, now an empty and abandoned shell through which the cold winds of economic reality blow unimpeded.
[link]
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Are you sure the foundation is solid? |
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I met a baker from an antique land
Who said: "A vast and witless bank of melted euros
Stands on the continent. Near it in the mire,
Half sunk, a shattered Merkel lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that her advisors well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The treaty that mocked them and the loan that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is federal Europe, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal joke, discordent and mad,
The lone and level drachmas stretch far away".
[+] |
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I dunno. It seems to me that a "monument" should
really be a metaphor for something or have some kind
of obvious symbolism, and it's just not clear what the
connection is here from the description. |
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I give it 24 hours to be 'relocated' to the nearest
scrap metal dealer. |
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You have to give the Greeks some credit, mainly because
they have no money. |
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// should really be a metaphor for something
or have some kind of obvious symbolism, and
it's just not clear what the connection is here
from the description // |
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Ha ha, irony, ha ha … please, tell us that's
irony, right ? You get the whole Hitler-
Napoleon-European-unity thing, ddon't you? |
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Well, /that/ part I get, obviously. Hitler is a reference to
Jesse Owens' upset at the 1936 Olympics, and Napoleon is
there to implore the viewer to vote for Pedro. |
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You had us worried for a minute, there. |
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/please, tell us that's irony, right/
More copper-nickelly. |
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//You have to give the Greeks some credit// |
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Their economy may be in ruins, but they've still got
a sense of hummus. |
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//Do I even need to ask what you've done with [xenzag] ?
// I hear my name. The idea is a bit literal for me, but a worthy sentiment. |
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They don't need Ozymandias, Fishrat, they need
Ozzy. Have him perform for Parliament, tear the
head off some pigeons, and things will improve
pronto. |
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// What goes on between a (now) cat-hating Borg and a
cat-loving hippie behind closed doors is strictly their
business, of which I want no part. // |
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You should loosen up, man. Try something new, maybe
you'll have a little fun! |
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I just saw the headline "Wildfires break out near Athens", and my first thought was "Aha! World's most ambitious insurance fraud!" |
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That figures. After all, the destruction of the
Parthenon was probably an insurance
swindle- they'd already sold off the frieze… |
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// they'd already sold off the frieze…// I thought it had been
taken into protective custody. |
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Yeah, right … money changed hands is all
we're saying, even if the paperwork was a bit
… improvised… |
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//destruction of the Parthenon was probably an
insurance swindle// |
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<voice of man who saw a program about the Elgin
Marbles on telly the other night> At some point, in
some war, the Greeks used the Parthenon as an
ammunition store. It didn't go well, not least
because of the lack of walls.
<\MvomwsapatEMotton> |
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The Greeks just might pull it off... which would make
a nice change from having them repeatedly hump it
up the arse. |
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//At some point, in some war, the Greeks used the Parthenon as an ammunition store//
Psst "Turks" - you need to watch more telly. |
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Leave bothering the greeks, they still holds the copyright of Plato, Archimedes and Aristotle's ideas |
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Hmmm... ironic: We were thinking of a similar monument here in the States --- it would be a giant Twinkie impaled on the Sword of Damocles. [+] |
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//the unmistakeable sounds of the Russians, Americans and Chinese laughing their socks off.// |
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Having recently adopted the Greek model of buying paradise on Earth with high interest credit, us Americans aren't doing a lot of laughing right now. At least not the ones who are expected to pay for it. |
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// similar monument … Sword of Damocles. // |
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For total allegorical irony, the sword is labelled "Defecit", and a
Democrat and a Republican take turns hauling the rope ever
higher while singing "Things Can Only Get Better" … |
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^^ Oh, my achin' Twinkie... |
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This is the thing with [8/7]. You never knew whether he was
being serious, or just sarcastic. |
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//You never knew whether he was being serious, or just
sarcastic.// |
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Both, usually, I think that's the basic mix for good satire. |
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