AWACS Pizza

We are witnessing at this time the early hours of a war. I have now watched as dozens of reporters from many networks have predicted that the main assault will be either very shortly, or not very shortly, or perhaps sometime after that; that Saddam is either dead, or possibly not dead; that the "shock and awe" portion of the battle will occur in the daytime, or else at night.

Bah. I'll give you a prediction. I predict that if you have several tens of thousands of young American men in a desert somewhere, you have an insufficient quantity of pizza. And an insufficient means of delivering it.

As we watched the news coverage, one of my sons suddenly discovered, right there on-screen, the solution. The E-2 Hawkeye AWACS aircraft. (That's the carrier-based prop job with the big circular housing on top.)

Many of the older models are sitting in the airplane boneyards in the Arizona desert. These craft could be updated, at minimal expense, to carry a batallion-sized pizza inside the radome. The radar unit would have a remodeled antenna which would direct microwaves onto the pizza, ensuring a hot, fresh pizza could be delivered. Flying several in formation with an "active duty" AWACS craft makes it possible to deliver this payload with pinpoint accuracy, as the radomes are detached and dropped by parafoil to the hungry troops.

Considering some of the things done to bring comfort and cheer to the servicemen, this would have to be one of the more cost-effective.