h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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Visiting the dentist can be a horrendous affair.
Meeting One whose business is to clean,extract,or repair your natural teeth.
Instead ..there is your local 24 hour dent.net cafe.
You are greeted by a practitioner, who is acting as if he is upon a podium tap dancing to the internal rhythm
of steel drums.
You slowly sink into the upholstered reclining chair..your hands grip hard around the handrests... and you feel the buttons with your fingers, and place your fingers upon the computer keypad and slowly..slowly..{{zzzzzzzpfzz}} tap in ha..l..f..baker..y and as if by magic on the monitor in front of you displays the HB.
However the two speakers each side of the headrest blocking the {{{{zzzzzzzzzzzzzz}}}} is replaced by a personal choice of music..Surfing bird by the Cramps ..perhaps.
Unlimited free gargle.
[link]
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Seriously, I really have wished I could communicate via keyboard when my mouth was full of tools and I was on drugs - I suspect that my missives might be less than clear, though. |
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<Kramer>"You know what you are? You're an anti-dentite!" |
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You could have a visor monitor to make it easier to see and shut off evenrything else. Nothing more boring than sitting with your mouth stretched open wide enough to accept a tennis ball while a metal point scrapes plaque off your teeth. |
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I can never understand this silly aversion that so many people have to going to the dentist. It's ridiculous. It's like being scared of going to the optician because you have to wear those goggles that make your eyes hurt a bit. |
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Jeez, if you actually *went* every 6 months like you're meant to and looked after your teeth then nothing horrible would have to happen in the first place. |
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As to the idea itself, my dentist has a telly on the ceiling of his surgery which either shows normal programs or the inside of your mouth.... which is nice. |
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I just count the nasal hairs poking from the dentist above. It doesn't help of course but I can't help it. |
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[squeak] have you ever heard the sound of a dentist's drill? Also, a tad self-righteous I think. I have very healthy teeth and no fillings but the fear of what they might do to you is always bad. And they do tend to go on about it if you can't be bothered to floss so I think all in all a bit of HB stress relief is well in order. +. |
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I just want a dentist who will clean my teeth with no remarks. You should be able to request "Commentary" or "No Commentary" when you make your appointment. |
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I know I didn't reach my back teeth enough and I have some plaque. If my teeth were in perfect shape, I wouldn't have come to the dentist, would I? |
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If you brush, floss, and gargle before going to the dentist, he'll probably keep his mouth shut. |
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Oh, please. Dentists do not fall for that. They know all the tricks. |
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[missy bling bling] Of course I've heard a dentist's drill. Sounds like any other drill to me. |
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And self-righteous? Call it what you want but it's also true. My fella: petrified of dentist , refuses to go even when there are visible holes and he has terrible toothache - awful teeth. Me: Quite likes the dentist, goes every 6 months or so for 5 minutes, gets teeth buffed up and a smiley face sticker - nice teeth. |
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The last time my fella went, he couldn't sleep the night before and was pale and sweaty when he went in. The dentist did his job, caused no pain and my fellas toothypegs didn't hurt anymore. Whats the big deal? Insist on being given gas or general anasthetic if you're that scared. |
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Ok fair enough, and I'm not personally scared of dentists ( I just find their comments a bit annoying), but where I come from (in the UK) they don't give you general anaesthetic unless you're having a major operation (this comment not intended rantily!) :-) |
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I think dentists should be ex-drill sargeants. "YOU HAVE 47 CAVITIES, PRIVATE! I WANT TO SEE 5 PUSHUPS FOR EACH ONE! WHY AM I LETTING YOU BREATHE MY AIR?! I'VE HAD COMBAT BOOTS CLEANER THAN YOUR MOUTH! TAKE THIS TOOTHBRUSH, AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE SCRUBBING EVERY TOOTH OF THAT GERM-INFESTED PLAQUE-CAKED SH#THOLE OF A YAP DOWN TO THE ROOTS, YOU CAN POLISH THE LATRINES! NOW SPIT! I WANT TO SEE BLOOD! |
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Ok [Rayford] now I'm a little bit scared of dentists. |
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True story: my second dentist's name was Dr. James Brown. Conservative, quiet, white guy. I took every opportunity I could to make fun of his name. |
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