h a l f b a k e r yThe phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.
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2-D glasses
Makes things 2-D so you can avoid... distractions | |
So, this is an idea by my uncle, and I'd like to submit it
So we've got these (potential - here's hoping!) clients, they're husband/wife. The wife is, well, pretty well-endowed, and she wears kind of low-cut shirts, so my uncle complains it's distracting. He says he doesn't know where to look to try
and be appropriate.
So he says someone should come up with 2-D glasses. Glasses that make the world seem 2-D. With everything flat, men could avoid such distractions.
Now, in this picture, look at the man on the right.
http://winelibrary.com/images/58378.jpg
See that thing he's holding under his nose? That may be the beginning of a solution to this problem. The one in the middle appears to be a thinly-disguised Stephen Fry. [pertinax, Nov 05 2011, last modified Nov 09 2011]
[link]
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So, like stereoscopic vision jammers? |
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I think the simplest way is to have one lens black, and the other clear. One eye; hence not 3D. Or ask your Uncle to close one eye! |
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When posting an Idea here, one is supposed to try to show how it might be done. Anything less is known as a WIBNI ("wouldn't it be nice if"), and tends to receive the MFD tag. |
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// ask your Uncle to close one eye!// That would be
winking, no? |
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Wouldn't that be called *double-D*? |
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Could be baked using lenses and prisms, a kind of cyclops visor, with one lens looking out, and splitting this into two viewpieces for the eyes. Or electronically with a cyclops-cam and two eye-screens. |
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Can you also make the DD glasses so that you can look at any flat girl (or guy) and see a large DD chest? |
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It seems like the 3D to 2D trick hasn't been much of a stumbling block for one very profitable industry. |
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// With everything flat, men could avoid such distractions
// |
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Yeah, because no man has ever been interested in looking
at a two-dimensional image of a woman with large breasts.
I mean, if that sort of thing were popular, there'd be lots
of magazines and pictures all over the internet... |
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//// ask your Uncle to close one eye!// That would
be winking, no?// Depends. Is Uncle's other eye
open? |
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I like the prisms scheme. Prisms can help people
with double vision so also should be able to reduce
3D ability. |
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But might I propose, Ed, that you obtain for your ink
a rakish pirate patch. It cough be flat black, or
perhaps be decorated with some glyph appropriate
for his line of business. He could explain it as a
consequence of extreme bumper pool. |
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I still fail to see how covering one eye is going to keep a
horny old lech from staring at a woman's tits. |
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Be fair, [Alterother] It would be effective with
horny old one-eyed lechers. |
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Only if you put it over their remaining eye. And that's not
fair at all, really... who are we to dictate that the
stereoptically-challenged can't leer with the rest of us? |
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Better to swivel the prisms so you can apparently look them in the eye, whilst ogling nonstop somewhat lower? |
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Bake it, [poc]. Bake it, and they will bun. |
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