R.I.P [bristolz]. We all miss you. I dedicate Ninja Shipping (my only good idea so far) to you. † I will change the dedication once I get a non-boned idea that would be awesome if illustrated.

Hello, if you have reached this, you either want ideas or help. E-mail me if you want advice on A-Guns or fine wine. My ideas are to the right. Good luck.

Proud member of the Ooolongftangftangbank profile scheme

Favourite phrase: Catastrophic failure

Abandoned Ideas:

Self-Powered Gym (taboo, generic, obvious idea, unworthy of the Bakery)

Fat Bombers (cruel, stupid, waste of fat people)

Michael Jackson Detector (Do I really need to explain?)

Immortality using 17 cheap chemicals (It works, but we shouldn't have immortality. So I deleted it and will tell no one about it. For my entire 5-century lifespan.)

Quotes:

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From "Leased Marriage":

"A shadow phoenix would be, by basic definition, a phoenix supposedly composed of shadow (obviously). As shadow is simply the absence of light, this would be a creature that reflects nearly no light, possibly storing said solar/light energy in it's body, becoming stronger without strenous effort. Phoenixes being supposedly reborn after a fairly long amount of time, would never grow too old or weak, always reviving itself when necessary. Therefore, a shadow phoenix would always be in peak physical condition, strong in light, swift in darkness, wiser with age and yet without physical signs of aging. Interesting, huh?" {Shadow Phoenix}

From "Compulsory calorie counter implant "

m-f-d from jutta, hard to fight that! {4whom}

From "Flame Retardant Candles"

If you have an answer, we have a problem! {Shadow Phoenix}

From "Run Forrest, Run"

Alas, the human soul was not meant to say goodbye. It is the only word never used in heaven. Too many goodbyes have been said here: I hope for a day where goodbye is nothing more than a heavily-boned idea here. {Shadow Phoenix}

From "Edible Gun"

I probably wouldn't want to eat my gun, even if it was possible. Any food that stands up to this is either unedible or expensive. If you want to have an inconspicuous weapon, try dissassembling it, hiding/disguising the parts, reassembling it, using it, dissassembling it again and disposing of all the pieces individually. Works for me.

From "Self-promotion"

I can live a real life. Weirdly, most of my real life leads me right back here. {Shadow Phoenix} I need quotes from other people.

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