10. In November 2000, the Gore campaign was dying to have me.

9. Ninety-nine percent of people can never agree on anything, anyway.

8. One percent breaks the tie, wins the hundredth-customer prize, and keeps the Ivory Soap from ascending to heaven with the angels.

7. Unpredictability is sexy.

6. The other .0009 percent of my population segment includes rocket scientists, models, serial killers, Jim Carrey, and those who have been struck by lightning more than once. We're not boring people.

5. If you met one hundred people today, which one do you think you'd remember?

4. Someone's got to wreck the curve.

3. If it were necessary for someone to get mugged twice in one year, have her identity stolen, get chicken pox at 23, and see dead people, wouldn't you like it to be somebody else?

2. Safeway Supermarkets have absolutely no idea what I will ever want to buy from them.

1. They'll never make an SUV ad starring me.