"motorised zips and penises, not a good combination" — rambling_sid, Dec 24 2004

"helicopters are certainly mechanical balloons" — mylodon, Jul 14 2019

"It's entirely possible that that's what I'm saying. Unfortunately, I'm not smart enough to know for sure. However, if it turns out to be a clever idea then yes, that's definitely what I'm saying." — MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 05 2019

"We have several witlesses sir. They're trying to draw a picture of the suspect but they keep eating the crayons and dancing like Teletubbies."

— bungston, May 29 2016

Best anno’s:

Obsessive-Compulsive Pedestrian's GPS

[Oct 04 2004, last modified Nov 04 2019]

A cup *of* Coffee (+11)
Ambient Radar (+1)
Autonomous collection-delivery system (+1)
Autorotation “parachute” (0)
Autumn harvest (+3)
Backpack tent sleeping bag/roll-mat (+2)
Bedspeakers (+1)
Benevolent (+2)
Big sticky harpoon of justice (+2)
Biodegradable cigarette butts (+2)
Bottle-opening bottle (+4)
Cake in a Can (+1)
Calendar scarf/tie (+3)
Car depth-gauge (+1)
Carbon-negative concrete (+1)
Cleaning gloves (+3)
CO2 direct air capture (+3)
Colour-coded tent (0)
Community-scale nuclear heat & power (+1)
Cooling towers (+4, -1)
Copper handrails on public transport (+5)
Dandelion Re-entry Vehicle (+1)
Data-encoded Perfume (+2)
Define “Good” (+2, -1)
Died Like A Dog (+3)
EDTA chromatography nuclear reprocessing (+3)
Empathic pest destruction (+3)
Exercise Required labelling (+10)
Extreme sports for the aged (+6)
Floating Food (+5)
Floons (+4)
Formalised legal system (+6)
Gingerbread House (+5, -1)
Gold Medal for you! (+4)
Hat-bags (+3)
“Hi-Fi” Turntable (+1)
High Priest Mechanic Service (+10, -2)
Humbrella (+8)
Ian Tindale (+2)
Ian Tindale Hat (+2)
Inflatable towers to space (+2)
John Smith is Safe (+4)
Laser Topiary (+4, -2)
Long-term data storage (+4)
Möbius Record Player (+3)
Memorial to the Russian Royal Family (+1, -1)
Model Model Village (+6)
Multi-sensory battlefield probe system (+1)
Music demixulator (+4)
Not-desking (+5)
Orbital hypervelocity spacejunk weapon (0)
Other General (+3)
Parental Panic Balloon (+23)
Pre-Christmas London HalfCon 2019 (+3)
Reflective planetary cooling system (+4)
Remote control cushions (+4)
Requirements Management System (+1)
Responsibility for microharm (+3, -1)
Retired Scientist Care-home/research faciliy (+4)
Retro-un-pseudo-science name-hijacking (+3)
Rubik's Doorknob (+5)
Sailing washing machine (+1)
Self-erecting Spectator Seating (+1)
Shipping container emergency door release (+4, -1)
Singing Gorilla restaurant recommendations (+2)
Single-use bedding for hospitals (+2)
Slug Electric Fence (+3)
Solar absorption refrigerator (+1)
Spontaneous fission time dilation (+1)
Strandbeest “donkey” rides (+14)
Suitcasicycle (0)
Super-quiet Turntable motor (+1)
Swim to work (+5)
Swiss-Army Shoes (+1)
They called it What? (+6)
Toddler Harpoon (+16, -1)
Toilet Bomb (+2)
Tourist Tips Whiteboard (+4)
TPU-equipped phone/consumer devices (+3, -1)
Track condition monitoring using passenger mobile phones (+4)
Train detection system (+2)
Train location data from passenger mobile phones (+1)
Twister Phone Dial Pad (+3)
Ultrasonic Handwash (+3)
Wigner energy batteries (+6)
Wind & Water (+6)
Wound fix-a-blob (+1)

random, halfbakery