Something that guys rarely know about dance clubs is that the girls aren't always there to get a man (or woman, or whatever tickles their pickle). Sometimes, a lady likes to just go out and dance and have a good time without some swarthy, unshaven, ham-handed jerk groping them or cornering them to say, "I just wanna get to know you, baby!"
Enter the "You Are Shady" card. It's simply a business-card-sized piece of paper that a girl can hand to a guy, or a guy can hand to a girl, that reads as follows:
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You are shady! I do not wish to get to know you. Please stop bothering me. Thank you.
For the functionally illiterate, it would also have a little stop sign printed on it.
This has the advantage of being visible, meaning that it can't be ignored in even the loudest clubs or discotheques.
Upon receipt of such a card, a guy can know without a doubt that it's time to move on to the next target...and a girl can know she can dance, or chat with her friends, unaccosted.
(suggested by a coworker)-- shapu, Oct 28 2004 But "will the real Slim Shady please provide identification" just isn't as catchy. Oh wait, never mind.-- Worldgineer, Oct 28 2004 I applaud your coworker for coming up with a non-offensive yet (hopefully) effective way to get the horny bastards (the ones that think "No, sorry, not interested" means "Actually, I really want to have my way with you in the bathroom stall") to leave us alone. This card wouldn't be difficult to make at home...could be baked in a matter of minutes!-- Machiavelli, Oct 28 2004 Sounds like Traffic Light parties (where you wear a red/amber/green sticker to indicate your availability) are the way to go. Still a great idea though [+]-- reap, Oct 29 2004 I think the card should also be affected by black lights or being highly reflective. In other words, so it will stand out. Some guys would not appreciate that card being handed to them and the girl could flash the card and get a bouncer's attention. I have not seen many bouncers that take the guys side.-- MrDaliLlama, Oct 29 2004 There are plans to do a test run in the near future...I'm afraid that budgetary constraints will force a non-UV-refractive version for the moment.
Perhaps sales are in order...-- shapu, Oct 29 2004 I was hoping this was a special gift you recieved when you bought an umbrella.-- benfrost, Oct 29 2004 We know, ben...-- blissmiss, Oct 29 2004 I'd really like to see an illustration of this one (hopefully with the unattractive, over-persistent guy's surprised face included).-- Pseudonym #3, Oct 29 2004 blissmiss - how do you know? (looks carefully around room). note to self - wear aluminium head gear when warden passes cell.-- benfrost, Oct 29 2004 something terribly wrong with that first sentence-- yabba do yabba dabba, Oct 29 2004 The card I carry says “I am shady...”-- Shz, Oct 29 2004 [yabba]: I wondered when someone was going to notice that. But haven't you ever heard the Tone Loc song "Funky Cold Medina?"-- shapu, Oct 29 2004 something terribly wrong with that sheena-- yabba do yabba dabba, Oct 29 2004 "You got carded" takes on a whole new meaning.-- krelnik, Oct 29 2004 I think that first sentence makes so much sense. I was just talking about this with a girlfriend, last friday. We sat (just the two of us) in a bar, waiting for other friends to arrive. Three guys, from three different groups of men, approached us, assuming that we were there to hook up with someone.
See, we tried to be nice, but that third guy had the misfortune of being the target of the frustration we accumulated along the night.
Such a card would have been really helpful. [+]-- Pericles, Oct 29 2004 i think there is a club in glasgow, scotland where you get the choice of green,amber or red stickers like traffic lights to stick on yourself indicating how desperate you are to pull on a night out. Still doesnt stop proper sleeze people trying tho.-- lau03205, Nov 20 2004 May I suggest the cards be pink? Pink slip, pink card, either way you're fired.-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Nov 20 2004 Wierd - I did an idea similar to this some time ago, but it simply involved the girl wearing a specific bracelet, and it was fishboned.
The main problems with your idea are:
1) If the guy talks to the girl for more than 20 seconds and she has not produced the card, he presumes he is 'well in'. He starts moving in for the kill quicker .. not being gentlemanly .. he just thinks 'Jees .. I've pulled'. The art of chatting up dies .. the guy just shows himself .. which says to the girl 'before I start even talking to you, tell me whether I'll be successful or not'.
2) The opportunity to just be friends with a girl, or .. dare I say .. ask them where the toilets are, is thrown out of the window as girls hand you the card before you've opened your mouth. A girl's handbag has just been nicked .. you try and tell her, and before you know it she's complaining to the bouncers because you've ignored the card she threw at you!
3) Group of girl-friends together. Lad starts talking to 1 of them .. she doesn't hand him the card immediately so her friends presume she's easy and take the p**s out of her, and leave her alone with the guy. There's no 'let's see what he's like' any more .. we go back to a 5 second judgement calls.
4) You run out of cards ... ?
Anyway .. what do these cards do that an engagement ring (even a fake one) doesn't??-- britboy, Nov 22 2004 The decent thing to do is to make an excuse or just say no thanks. Handing out a rejection slip makes you the socially inept, inarticulate or just plain crude, one.-- hangingchad, Nov 22 2004 I don't think this necessarily defeats the art of conversation.
What it does do is tell people, "Look, you're creeping me out, go away." It's fairly discreet...the card can be handed out folded up, so it looks like the girl's number. No need to embarrass the guy.
And it doesn't automatically tell a guy that he's in if there's no card produced - it just says, "Well, at least you look like you've bathed this week."-- shapu, Nov 22 2004 Maybe put checkboxes on it?
You are shady! [ ] your hands are like an octopus's tentacles! [ ] you smell! [ ] your teeth are yellow! [ ] you have terrible taste in clothes! [ ] you don't appear sufficiently wealthy to merit further consideration-- phundug, Nov 22 2004 She gave me a 'shady card', but when I looked at it the next day she'd put a lipstick kiss and her number on the back. Glad I didn't throw it out!
(But when I called the number, it was one of those HalfBakery fake numbers that played a 'still shady' message. Sigh.)-- not_only_but_also, Nov 23 2004 [phundug] you forgot, [ ] All of the above.-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Nov 23 2004 random, halfbakery