Facing the electric chair? Life getting you down? Is your end nigh?

Electric Chair woes begone!!

Simply ask your guard to order you the latest, greatest thing in electric chair fun!

The Maxme Kapacitative Kaper Kit contains 2 litres of flesh-tone latex paint (odour free), 1.5 litres of finest marine-grade aluminium paint, an unbreakable full- length* mirror, ***and*** two free applicateror brushes!!! It's just everything you need to leave 'em laughing all the way down death row.

Follow the simple paint-by-numbers wallchart, and have fun painting the indicated areas of skin with layers of aluminium paint and latex. Don't skimp, now! And above all, don't forget to leave a couple of inconspicuous patches of the aluminium exposed on your wrists and scalp.

When your big day comes and they throw that switch, just watch the expression on your friends' and executioner's faces as you appear completely impervious to the kilovolts.

When applied according to our instructions, the Maxme Kapacitative Kaper Kit will give the average male inmate a capacitance of between 2.5 and 3.5 Farads. We **guarantee** no significant leakage of charge over a five minute period, ample time for you to comment on the poor quality of modern electrocution equipment as they release your restraints.

Simply hold your hand out for some help getting out of the chair and - Gadulka! - amaze your friends as both you and the guard go out with one final hair-raising bang!

*Applies only to persons less than 5'7". Not valid in California.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, May 23 2011

Expired by: Execution_20Botch_20Device
[MaxwellBuchanan, May 23 2011]

This sounds like a great plot device.
-- RayfordSteele, May 24 2011



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